Ugh! Do cockroaches have ANY positive, useful purposes at all?

No they do not!

I speak from experience. As a survival food they are supposed to be good. However, the taste is a major deterrent to eating them.

How do you prepare them? Do you clean them and gut them out? Do you eat the giblets? Do you put barbecue sauce, or sweet-and-sour sauce on them? Teriyaki? Cooking style matters.