Um...Learn how...um....to...um...TALK!

[Monty]

Please, for the love of whatever you hold holy/dear/important, learn how to speak as though you know your subject before giving a presentation on that subject! Contrast these two examples and consider for a moment which one best describes your presentations.

Example One.
This software has been developed with our industry in mind. Not only has our company invested in the research for this great new software, but our industry association has tested it rigorously to ensure it meets the requirements of the industry quality assurance program and also is user-friendly. That means you, the user, will not have to take precious hours away from your actual job to learn this program. You will be using it like a master programmer in less than an hour! Okay, let’s move onto some actual examples of how to use this great program.

Example Two.
Okay, like, you know, this…um…software…um…has been…developed…um…that’s it…with…like, you know, you in mind.

My apologies. The second presenter was unable to finish the presentation because I took a baseball bat to their forehead! No, not really; however, don’t think that thought wasn’t coming close to reality. I was this (fingertips forced together so hard they almost fuse) close to getting the equipment room key from the baseball team coach so I could get a variety of bats.

If you want people listening to you believe you know what you’re talking about, try talking about it as though you do know. A bazillion “like,” “you know,” and, worst of all, “um” fillers in the speech renders the speech useless. After about two minutes of that drivel, I find myself wondering what, if any, point there is to this seemingly random set of sound waves.

If your presentations are like Example One, good on you! Thank you! Please, please, for the love of Heaven, come over here and give the next presentation I must attend. I will gladly give up my weekends and next vacation week to be your unpaid guide, chauffer, and translator.

If your presentations are like Examnple Two, you are too stupid to live.

Bonus Rant: If you deliver the filler-ridden “speech” in a flat monotone, you are Evil Incarnate.

[movingfinger]

Good speakers speak in complete sentences.

Excellent speakers speak in whole paragraphs.

[Rigamarole]

I just had to listen to 4 hours of presentations in a college class. I’m ready to die now.

I think I’m the only one who actually practiced giving my presentation at all (not that I was that great but I’ve taken public speaking courses and I think I managed to be pretty articulate, concise, and confident). Whereas most seem to have thrown their presentations together in the hour or two before class with no thought put into what they would say or how they would say it. It was supposed to be a 5 to 7 minute deal but almost everyone rambled on and on well past that and the instructor never cut them off.

[Kobal2]

@Monty

Bonus Rant: If you deliver the filler-ridden “speech” in a flat monotone, you are Evil Incarnate.

Hah ! Had a teacher like that in high school. She didn’t hum or err or weeeell all that much, but damn if that woman hadn’t the flattest voice in the Universe. No inflection, no accentuation, no enthusiasm, just flat out, dead eyed, all robospeak all the time.

I almost failed that class because I just couldn’t concentrate on what the hell she was droning on about for more than 5 minutes at a time. Anything beyond that, and she became a sort of white noise I had to strain to even register. Horrible, horrible teacher.

[Nava]

@Rigamarole

I just had to listen to 4 hours of presentations in a college class. I’m ready to die now.
…
It was supposed to be a 5 to 7 minute deal but almost everyone rambled on and on well past that and the instructor never cut them off.

Giving presentations seems to be one of those things which many lower-level schools think will be taught in college, while many college teachers expect it has been taught before. Add the ones who just expect students to pick up things from thin air and yeah, it’s kind of hard to learn something when nobody will teach it. Hopefully the teacher is better at his actual subject than at teaching how to give a presentation!

[Smeghead]

I don’t know where kids get it from.

[BigT]

@Smeghead

I don’t know where kids get it from.

Like and y’know have perfectly legitimate meanings in those contexts. The latter is no different than Canadians putting eh? at the end of things: it’s a way of requesting input to tell you if you are understanding what is being said.

Like has an even more valid meaning, if that’s at all possible. It conveys that someone said or reacted in a manner similar to, and not exactly the same, as what the speaker is saying.

I know they are horribly informal, and thus are out of place in presentations, but both do have their place. (And, yes, one of those places is to portray a young woman as “hip” enough amongst her demo[graphic])

[Inner_Stickler]

@Monty

.

If your presentations are like Examnple Two, you are too stupid to live.

Your rage is better directed at the high-school teachers and college professors who did not teach her effective tools for public speaking. Very few people actually pick it up the requisite skills out of thin air.

[jjimm]

@BigT

Like and y’know have perfectly legitimate meanings in those contexts. The latter is no different than Canadians putting eh? at the end of things: it’s a way of requesting input to tell you if you are understanding what is being said.

Like has an even more valid meaning, if that’s at all possible. It conveys that someone said or reacted in a manner similar to, and not exactly the same, as what the speaker is saying.

I know they are horribly informal, and thus are out of place in presentations, but both do have their place. (And, yes, one of those places is to portray a young woman as “hip” enough amongst her demo[graphic])

Except that neither of your explanations are valid with regard to that clip. She uses them as the speaker in the OP uses “umm” and “err”. At the risk of brain damage I transcribed the first few sentences:

@Myley Like Cyrus Y'know

I work with the like, y’know, good people… Every day I’m like counting down… Y’know I’m able to collaborate with… Doing it like independently…

I have a friend who used to use the word “fuckinnnnnnnnn’” in the same way. Got him into a lot of trouble.

[cards]

Hold everything. While I’m totally on board with this thread, I just noticed something that I didn’t think was possible. Monty, I didn’t think the board was active outside of AOL until March 1999, yet you have a join date of February 1999. Hell Tubadiva’s join is March. What deviltry is this?

[Really_Not_All_That_Bright]

Seems as good a thread as any to throw out a plug for Toastmasters. I’ve never been - my public speaking skills are polished, and my chops are un-bustable - but my wife says they helped her a lot (and she actually has to conduct presentations on a weekly basis as part of her job).

[Anaamika]

This drives me crazy. I get it all the time on the phone - people call in and instead of being ready with what they need to say, they stutter and hesitate. I have been complimented before with my efficiency in leaving messages. Whaaa…? Maybe if you thought about what you said before you called:

Hi, this is X calling from Company Y, for Z. We are calling because we received your ____ and would like to discuss it with you. You may call me back at XXX-XXX-XXXX at your earliest convenience. Thank you, and again, my name is X.

As opposed to the messages/calls I do get “Um. Yeah. Uh. Hang on.”

And don’t even get me started on people who call for our address, and, when I start giving it, go “Hang on - let me get a pen.” :smack:

[Dung_Beetle]

What** Anaamika** said. I answer the phones at work, and half the people who call don’t even seem to know what they were calling about. The pen thing made me laugh, because it is oh so fucking true.

There is a lady at work who stutters, and I am always consciously careful to not interrupt her or try to supply the missing word. I’m finding more and more that I have to be consciously careful like that with everyone.

[zoid]

@cards

Hold everything. While I’m totally on board with this thread, I just noticed something that I didn’t think was possible. Monty, I didn’t think the board was active outside of AOL until March 1999, yet you have a join date of February 1999. Hell Tubadiva’s join is March. What deviltry is this?

Monty exists outside of space and time
He is who is
He is who ever was
He is who will ever be

[Dinsdale]

@Kobal2

Hah ! Had a teacher like that in high school. She didn’t hum or err or weeeell all that much, but damn if that woman hadn’t the flattest voice in the Universe.

We had a prof like that in law school - known to all as “The Energy Vampire”.

[Bryan_Ekers]

@BigT

Like and y’know have perfectly legitimate meanings in those contexts. The latter is no different than Canadians putting eh? at the end of things

It’s worth pointing out that only some Canadians do this, wot?

[Guinastasia]

Don’t ever come to Pittsburgh an’at.

[descamisado]

deleted.

[Mrs.Cake]

I saw the thread title and thought this was a thread about my company Director of Fundraising. Sheer agony sitting through staff meetings when he speaks. I can’t imagine what it must be like sitting on the other side of the table as he tries to talk someboldy into donating money, but it certainly helps explain why donations are way down since he took over. Someday I will drive an icepick into his brain or into my owns ears, just to make it stop.

[Guinastasia]

Mmyeah, I think I’m going to have to ask you to come see me in my office after work, mmkay? Yeeah, that’d be great.