There are so many things wrong with this article that I don’t even know where to begin, short of just joining Al Qaeda and flying a manure freighter into that Luxor pyramid in the middle of family week. T**he kids sat down to their regular “salad bar” of cooked, frozen and canned vegetables, from baby corn to cherry tomatoes
** while they filled out their ADORABLE demands for the “stake and lobster” and “chicken cordon blue” that they’re accustomed to eating. AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! What, no fucking FOIE GRAS stuffed PRAWNS, you spoiled little fucking ABORTIONS?
What kills me the most is this hapless lunch lady who’s put on the spot to provide something “better” than the existing “salad bar” of “everything from baby corn to cherry tomatoes,” presumably in addition to whatever entrees are already available. Jesus, that’s not enough? REALLY? I understand that we’re dealing with the spoiled, entitled, demanding little darlings of Las Vegas plutocrats and Casino barons, but it sounds like they’ve got it PRETTY FUCKING GOOD to begin with! When I went to school, we had gross chicken patties and gross hamburgers, with soggy french fries on the side. EVERY DAY. And that’s IT. These little toilets have access to a veritable buffet of good stuff on a daily basis, and yet they start a letter-writing campaign with the local media on-hand to applaud. Goddamn, things like this make me hate our freedom.
Dear Students of William V. Wright Elementary School: GET AIDS.