First, I don’t think it’s worth the hassle and stress involved. Either his grandparents should come to you, a guardian should go with your son, or the trip should be postponed.
Second, I could not make my kids someone else’s responsibility. Part of this is not wanting to let some stranger make decisions for my kid, even if it’s as something as mundane as giving him treats. But there’s also the fact that every moment the flight attendants have to dedicate to my kid, whether they’re happy to or not, is a moment taken away from their own responsibilities or some other passenger’s needs. That’s not fair to them. As I see it, my kid is my problem, and unless circumstances absolutely demand he travel alone, I will not foist him on someone else.
Basically, I’d want my kid to act as though I’m there. I wouldn’t want him getting distracted by a puppy and wandering off and getting lost, or freaking out on the airplane. I’d want him to stay out of other passengers’ hair and be reasonably quiet and calm. If I couldn’t trust that he could do these things by himself, then I wouldn’t let him go alone.
While I don’t know where the money goes, I do feel compelled to point out that the airline is collecting an additional $75 from the every person - EACH WAY - who drops off an UM passenger, on top of the regular ticketed price. That’s $150 for a round trip flight. That’s more than enough to pay an additional flight attendant to sit there for 3 hours and wipe my kid’s nose every 30 seconds. (Or if it’s not, I need to change careers!*) If the airline’s aren’t adding on additional crew to supervise UM flyers, then really that’s something the flight attendants’ union needs to bring up, don’t ya think?
*I don’t get paid that much as a babysitter, and I’m actually expected to interact with the kids for at least 90% of the time they’re with me!
Your OP indicates to me that your insticts are telling you this is not a good idea.
I think insticts are a good indicator in this situation, as you know your son best.
Tell Grandma maybe next year.
My daughter flew at that age (ok, she might have been 6). They sat her near a family with other children. She loved all the attention she got from the flight attendants. She was an outgoing and adventurous child who wasn’t much afraid to try new things and not at all afraid to be with strangers and away from her mommy. I think those two things really helped. The flight was non-stop from Orlando to Dallas, just a couple of hours.
When she was 12 I sent her from Orlando to Tokyo to visit my sister and her cousins. Once again she sat near a family and when she arrived home they thanked me for the way she helped them out with their younger kids on the long flight.
You’re the best judge of whether or not he’s emotionally ready. Listen to your gut instinct.
No vote here. I know it’s not likely to happen, but what if the plane has to make an unscheduled stop due to mechanical issues or something like that? What if (god forbid) there was another 9/11 scenario and the childs plane was diverted to the nearest airport and couldn’t fly out for a few days? I know this is unlikely, but still something to consider.
We flew our kids alone a fair amount, but (a) we started when they were 10 and 8, and (b) they had each other.
The airlines deal with unaccompanied minors all the time, and some of the scenarios that people have worried about – unscheduled landing or being diverted to another airport, grandparents being late for pickup, etc – the airlines have all those things “under control.” That is, some airlines personnel will be in charge of watching out for and taking care of the child under those circumstances until the designated people show up to claim them.
Having said that, the question is not the mechanics (can the airline handle blah blah? Yes, of course they can.) But they’re handling it from a minimalist perpective – watching out for the child’s welfare. They’re not going to provide entertainment, company, or conversation.
So, my question is how the child will react. How well does he deal with strange babysitters? with strange environments? How long can he sit alone? How well would he cope with a change-in-plan (like a re-routing)? Some five-year olds could do well, some would find it a nightmare. Depends partly on the individual child.
My gut feeling, however, is that five is too young. You want to wait until you’ve got an age where the child can be reasonably self-sufficient if necessary.
I suspect that $75 is more of a “nuisance fee”-- you know, a fee intended to discourage people from sending excessive quantities of unaccompanied minors–than it is a way of paying for additional flight attendants. (And if your kid needs a flight attendant wiping his nose every 30 seconds, you need to be hiring a traveling companion for the kid, not expecting a flight attendant to tend to their every need).
On the other hand, I more or less agree with you that the airlines should anticipate unaccompanied minors being a little more needy than the average experienced adult passenger, and provide additional flight attendants when needed.
Sure, but just because the money is there and should be allotted to adding more flight crew doesn’t mean it will happen. Hell, I read this morning about airlines underfueling planes in order to keep costs down. They’re not about to say, “Hey, we have this money, let’s add another attendant to our flights.”
Moreover, it’s not an issue of the airline being able to afford it. I just don’t view it as the airline’s responsibility to babysit my kid. It’s the flight attendant’s job to take care of passengers, but I don’t consider keeping my kid calm and happy and disciplining him to be part of that. They’ll do it, sure, but to me that’s besides the point. I would rather my kid not become someone else’s problem and responsibility.
My youngest son is 5 years old, and I would definitely not send him as an UM. He’s almost 6, very verbal, and would likely watch a movie the whole time, BUT there are just too many other things that could go wrong that don’t depend on me or my child’s preparedness. Illness, airport lockdowns, crazy people, weather, etc.
Something happens to some kids around the age of 5 regarding airplanes. Once when I was four, my mother took me down to LAX to meet her parents’ plane. Through the whole experience I was terrified that I would somehow end up on a plane, and I couldn’t quite distinguish “airport” and “airplane”. So I kept fearfully asking my mother if we were on an airplane, and she kept having to answer, “no, this is just the airport!”.
But by the time I was six I loved aircraft and wanted nothing more than the adventure of going up in one. About that time I was in the Y-Indian Guides, and the dads arranged a helicopter trip around L.A. for all of us. What a thrill that was, and I can still remember a lot of it as if it was yesterday.
Aaron likes to fly, and we generally fly at least once a year, so it’s not a new experience for him by any means. But it’s enough of a challenge keeping him occupied when I’m with him. I can’t see him keeping himself busy for a full four-hour flight, even if it is non-stop. And I know he won’t nap on the plane.
Maybe my mind is just in the gutter, or maybe I spend too much time with cnn.com and Fox, but the first thing that pops into my mind is, “How will he cope with the fact that the smiling man in the seat next to him keeps reaching over and groping his penis?”
IOW, the flight attendants can’t give him the undivided guardianship that a parent would; they have to serve drinks, peanuts, etc., take care of other customers, take coffee up to the cockpit. So he’s gonna be completely undefended against the pedophile three rows back who spots him the minute he gets on the plane.
I wouldn’t send him. Not until he’s older, has a better sense of when an adult is acting strangely (in my experience a Five isn’t old enough for that), and knows better how to say clearly, “This man is bothering me.”
And of course, all the other reasons. “What everybody else said.”
For one, not all men, or even nearly all men, are predators. For two, they tend to seat UM with other kids, or with families, or with great big caverns of space on either side of them. For three, the flight attendant does check on them, very frequently, without warning, and from either the front or the rear unexpectedly. Anyone moving their seat to sit next to an UM will be bitch-slapped, or at least told to get right the fuck back to their seat now, thank you.
Unless you have some actual information about molestation statistics on airliners, of course. I’m only basing this on my actual experiences. A kid is at far greater risk at his family’s Christmas party than on an airplane.
Well, see, one can assume this, but one cannot be assured that in fact the flight attendant will be (a) bright enough or (b) interested enough or (c) have the time, to bitchslap anyone who quietly gets up to sit next to an UM.
“Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain”, and my ingrained pessimism instructs me that I would get the one flight attendant in the world on the plane with my kid who is too stupid, too busy, and basically too “who gives a shit” uncaring to do anything about the gentleman from three rows back who quietly got up and seated himself next to my kid.
YMMV, of course.
And no, I’m certainly not saying that all males are pederastic predators, but better safe than sorry, and I personally wouldn’t put a five-year-old in the way of such a possible situation.
Can’t help with a 5 YO, but my daughter used to fly internationally quite a bit as a UM. We used British Airways for this as they seemed to be well set up for taking care of UMs and did an excellent job.
They had a nifty custody chain with a little card that showed exactly who was in charge of the kid at any given time. They also had areas where they stashed UMs while waiting for the next flight. My daughter had a great time and never stopped talking about the steward that was in charge of her for part of the flight.
My daughter had zero problems with molesters, rapists, or other bottom-dwellers.
Forgot to add. They put the daughter in either first or business class and generally kept her by herself so the “random molester” scenario never came up.
Personally, I just don’t think that it’s fair to ask a five year old to sit still for hours on end, especially a five year old boy. Boys do mature differently than girls, and at five years old they need to move around every once in a while. My younger son’s kindergarten teacher used a class plan that alternated every fifteen minutes between learning and physical activity. I think that she did this for the boys.
