Wanted to share this. Over Thanksgiving we were down seeing my wifes brothers family and my wife and I volunteered to go to Walmart and one of my nieces (about 11?) wanted to come along.
So it was me and the niece buying groceries and such while my wife was off in another section and she out of the blue said to me she needed pads. Well that took me back a bit (I didnt think she was that old) and all I could say was “you will have to talk to your aunt about that”. I mean its not like I would know what to buy. I guess if it wasnt for my wife being there I would have had to call my SIL (her mother).
So I’d like to ask, ladies first. Back when you were maybe 11-12 would you have asked your uncle for feminine hygiene?
Uncles, have you ever been asked by your nieces?
Back in my day I think girls just asked their Mothers or maybe Dad’s.
You were IN THE STORE and she needed pads, what’s difficult about that? Why would she need to ask anyone about anything and why would you not just buy her some pads, if for no other reason than to protect your upholstery? Would you have pulled an “ask your mother or my wife” if she said she had a headache and needs some Tylenol? Good grief, it’s just a period, any man who’s been in a relationship with a woman more than a few months should know how to deal with it.
Presumably she knows what to buy. I don’t think she was asking you to pick them out for her, just letting you know that she needed to swing by the feminine hygiene section. Not much different than if she had said “I need toothpaste.”
There’s no reason to be embarrassed or ashamed of periods. I speak as a man who has bought pads for my wife many times.
Firstly, I’m an uncle, with at least three nieces old enough to need pads. I have been on one or two shopping trips with one of those nieces. She did not inform me that she needed pads.
If she had, I would have responded, “I think hygiene is this way.” And, being secure in my masculinity to an unnatural degree, I would have accompanied her in her walk to the section.
I dunno if I would have gone into the aisle with her while she picked out what she needed, though. I mean, that kind of close proximity to so many feminine products might give a manly man like me the vapors. But when she’d finished I would have been willing to stand next to her while she carried the goods, and even accompanied her to the register while she paid for them. Yep, I’m that tolerant. Praise me.
UrbanRedneck, you acted like an idiot wimp who can’t even put a worm on a hook. Did you think the aisle would be dripping with menstrual effluent?
Shame on you! Real men face reality, and do not shame their female relatives for going through hell to continue the human race. You owe your niece an apology.
Here’s a little help finding the right attitude:
And yes, at 12 I sent my Grandfather to the store for tampax. Both he and my grandmother (Irish Catholics) were a little beside themselves at the thought of such a young girl using "internal" stuff, but once they got over it He went to the dem store and got me what I needed. 'Cause he was a grown-up.
Past time for Uncle **Urban **to learn the facts of life, 2019: The average age of a US female’s first period is 12. That’s average, so some are older, some younger. But that’s besides the point. If the girl said she needs pads, she needs pads, dammit, so tell her to toss a package in the cart.
Times have changed and for the better since I was that age. Thank heavens, girls today aren’t embarrassed about getting their periods. Kudos to your sibling who raised the girl to be unashamed. Apparently, you’re the family anachronism, but you don’t have to be.
Use this as an opportunity to learn your way into the 21st century, B]Urban Redneck**. It’s also an opportunity to learn your niece’s age. There’s probably a lot she can teach you if you’ll spend time listening to her. And you’ll be a better man for it.
Oh I was ok with that. I just wasnt expecting it. I was actually impressed with her self confidence. My wife was even surprised she talked to me first instead of her. She said back in the day she wouldnt have had the self confidence to ask her uncle.
Your right, if had been just me and her I would have taken her over to that section and told her to just go get what she needs but having my wife there was kind of a way out. Thing was she asked it more as a question so its not like I would have known what type or size she would need. The one time I bought them for my wife I bought the wrong ones and she said from now on she will do it.
As for her age we only see that family maybe once a year so I really didnt know her that well.
My dad, an only child, was totally disgusted with me when, in the house (no visitors around), I asked my mother if I could borrow her supplies. I was probably 15 or so. It was maybe 1976(?). After his complaint, I told him that over 50% of the population of the world got periods at puberty and it was nothing to be ashamed of. Furthermore, I said I had no intention of keeping it a secret around my brothers because they should know this happens too. Fast forward 30 years and I got thanked by brothers for doing so because they knew what was needed with my nieces and weren’t embarrassed by it the way dad was.
It’s just a normal thing and nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s funny, nobody would bat an eye if a kid goes “oh, we need some toilet paper too”, even though what TP deals with is way smellier and nastier than what pads deal with.
You definitely failed a “roll with it” test. You should have answered “do you know what you need?” or at a minimum say that your wife might need to visit that section so wait for her to catch up.
My Daddy the oldest of 13 sibs. And father of 5 girls was the least embarrassed man when it came to the needs of girls and women. He used to buy Tampax by the case when we were all still at home. I never knew Men could be so touchy about it til I married.
Now really, you are saying you would be ready and would have had the perfect response? Again, I have no sisters. No daughters. And in 23 years being married my wife has only asked me to buy them maybe twice. Heck the closest I’ve been to them is having to fix the dispensing machine in the ladies room.
But you didn’t need to have had sisters or daughters. You only needed to respond with, “OK. What kind do you need?” You detected a question in her voice, but you don’t know why it was there. Maybe it was because she wasn’t sure old school Uncle Urban wasn’t going to get all awkward about it. If she wasn’t sure what kind she needed, that would’ve been a good time to say Aunt Urban would be along in a minute and would be a better help.
I suspect the reason you got your wife the wrong product was because you felt all nervous and awkward and mortified. That was your first opportunity to learn. Didn’t. Niece was your second chance, and again you didn’t. I hope you get past your awkward, “Uh, I’m a guy” self-consciousness so you can step up in the future.
Well…I’m a girl. And I started my period at the ripe old age of NINE.
Mr VOW promised me when we first got married he would buy me whatevr “personal necessities” I’d ever need.
He would have bought our daughter anything she needed in that category, as well.
If ever called upon, he’d not only run out and buy “personal necessities” for our granddaughters, he’d bring them back on a gilded pillow. He’s the type who would buy one of each kind on the shelf, “just in case.”
~VOW
Yeah, I got that. My post was disagreeing. You basically said “I can’t do/talk anything about that. Please talk to the nearest female relative.” You didn’t commit some grave offence or anything.