When I was growing up, and something turned out badly—say, I crashed my bike—I would do what kids always do: I’d make an excuse. I’d probably say something along the lines of “But, if that dog hadn’t run out in the street, I wouldn’t have crashed.” My father, the sage that he is, would almost invariably reply, “Well, if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass.”
For years, I thought my dad had coined that expression. I have never heard anyone else use it. I adopted it, though, and I use it whenever a little stoicism is called for. “If I hadn’t got sick, I would have got the project done on time.” “Well, if a frog had wings, he wouldn’t bump his ass.”
Turns out, Dad didn’t coin that proverb. For some reason, I googled it one day. It’s out there, just not among the superstars like “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” That’s what I’m looking for—the B-list of proverbs, the supporting cast of aphorisms. Maybe they’re regional, or maybe just fading with an older generation. The sayings that should have hit the big time.
Did your dad also say: “That’s why they make chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla”? Sure, anybody can pull out the old “There’s no accounting for taste.” But there’s more poetry in “That’s why they make chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla.”
My father actually explained this one to me. It’s in Olde English expression. Tinkers were tinsmiths, and when they repaired a crack or hole in a pot or kettle, they’d solder it (or braize it) with a mixture of copper and tin – bronze, actually. And to hold the molten metal in place while it cooled, they’d make a dam (out of lead and tin, I think) around the broken area. That was a “tinke’s dam”. And because it was made out of cheap metal, it wasn’t worth much.
Yep. That’s the etymology I learned years back. (I believe, in fact it was from an coughImponderablescough book by David Feldman. AhemWho Put The Butter In Butterfly? I believe, since that was his only etymological volume. And before you ask, it was long before I discovered the Dope. :D)
“Tinker’s dam” is a matter of dispute. The phrase “Not worth a dam” dates from the 18th Century, but “Not worth a tinker’s dam” dates from the 19th. On that basis, it seems that they just added “tinker” to an existing phrase. Mirriam Webster says it probably comes from a tinker’s reputation for blasphemy.
In addition, wordorigins.org has a phrase “tinker’s curse” predating “tinker’s damn” (used by Thoreau). Since the change to “tinker’s dam” comes later, it could easily been Victorian squeamishness.
I usually get a giggle when I tell someone they are “kicking an open door”…it’s a literal translation of a pretty common german expression meaning preaching to the faithful (or choir).
I have had to explain “carrying coal to Newcastle” several times.
Here’s one from Don Quixote that tickled me, owing to the contrast between its casual use and its offensiveness (and as a historical artifact): “…no truer than the miracles of Mohammed.”