Under what circumstances, if any, would you let your child become vegetarian?

In My Humble Opinion
81

[QUOTE=Dangerosa]
He stuck with it a year. That’s a long time to self service your own food, manage your own nutrition, and live without meat JUST to rebel. I’m guessing he had other motivations as well. Particularly since after a year he went back - which implies he does LIKE meat (I know some vegetarians whose stated motivation is ethical or health, but they really never LIKED meat to start with - texture thing. They are usually really good at sticking with it, since they have little temptation to go back).

Want to rebel as a teenager, find a girlfriend/boyfriend your parents hate. Get an odd haircut. Wear clothes Mom rolls her eyes at. Diet is a pretty big commitment JUST to piss off mom and dad. Not that it doesn’t happen - and maybe in your nephews case it was his only motivation. I know a vegetarian (vegan) who I think pissing off Mom was her primary motivation - but she was happiest miserable so pissing someone else off by making life a pain in the butt for herself filled her needs nicely. (She also wore clothes her Mom hated, married a guy Mom hated, and had an odd haircut…and switched religions from her mother’s devout faith. If she weren’t in her late 20s when I knew her, it wouldn’t have been quite so sad.)
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You must be psychic for you described the current situation exactly. That or kids keep repeating the timeless behavior of rebellion.

82

[QUOTE=Apollyon]
As the parent of a six-year old I’m struggling with the question of how “letting” (or not letting) him be vegetarian would work. I can understand choosing to adapt to his decision or not: whether to provided non-meat meals, nutritious alternatives, etc… it’s just the “let” bit I can’t quite understand. What are those who are saying they wouldn’t let their children do this planning (hypothetically) to do?

Not offer alternatives? Punish the children if they don’t eat their meat? (per Pink Floyd: “If you don’t eat your meat you can’t have any pudding? How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?”) :slight_smile: (Or time outs or loss of privileges, or grounding, or whatever). Hold them down and force-feed them like you were making foie gras? :eek:

I’m just not sure how this would work.
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Replace “meat” with “vegetables” and it’s a struggle that parents have been having forever, or at least as long as TV and the movies have been around to “document” family life.

“Eat your [thing you don’t want to eat] or you can just sit there until you do” is a popular one. It certainly happened in my childhood.

(please don’t come at me about the merits of veggies vs meat, I was pointing out the similarity of the situations, not intending to get into that argument)

83

10 years old is plenty old enough to prepare meals by oneself. If dad doesn’t know how to cook, then the kid can cook. I did it. My baby sister did it.

84

[QUOTE=Magiver]
You must be psychic for you described the current situation exactly. That or kids keep repeating the timeless behavior of rebellion.
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They do, but “hey, Mom - I’m going to become a vegetarian because I don’t think its right to kill other beings to feed myself” is a significant step up the rebellion ladder from “Hey, Mom - like my nose ring - it says I don’t conform to the will of society.” And that is a step up from “I’m going to do drugs because they make ME feel good.”
If your kid can get rebellion out of his system through a vegetarian stint (and that alone) count your blessings.

85

[QUOTE=Dangerosa]
If your kid can get rebellion out of his system through a vegetarian stint (and that alone) count your blessings.
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No disagreement there.

86

[QUOTE=CairoCarol]
Excellent point, and I hadn’t thought of that yet. Good heavens, I will NOT allow my son to expect that his hosts would change their cooking around for him. We need to have a talk. I’ll suggest he eat meat when at someone’s house in order to be polite, but if he’s adamant that he won’t do that (which is kind of what I expect) we’ll talk about polite ways to avoid the meat.
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He shouldn’t betray his beliefs in order to be polite. If he is going to go the veg. route he needs to stand up for what he believes in and pack a sack lunch and some snacks if necessary. Or skip the meat and double the side dishes of he’s at a friend’s house. I think the other parents would be proud of him for standing up for what he believes in and not eating meat just to fit in.
Kindly warn your son that people will question him and possibly make fun of him. The simple answer is that it’s a personal choice. They choose to eat meat. He chooses not to.
I think everything I’d like to say has already been said: Dad, you and your son all need to be educated so that he gets the proper nutrition. He should help/learn to cook. Dad needs to lighten up a bit and encourage his son to do what he feels is right.
I’ve been a vegetarian for about 9 months. It’s not always easy (especially going out to eat) but to me it is worth it. I’m doing what I feel is right.

87

[QUOTE=Hakuna Matata]
Might I suggest a cooking camp or class for your kid. I swear after my daughter took a one week cooking camp she was VERY interested in different foods.
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That’s a cool idea, thanks. I don’t know what’s available locally but it could weil be worth looking into. Although, he’s quite happy to help out with food preparation at home… reminds me that on one occasion a couple of vegetarian friends came around (and made dinner); he helped with preparing the vegetables (peeling carrots, etc) very enthusiastically… still wouldn’t eat a bite of the finished dish though. :slight_smile:

I was quite surprised (and pleased) when we went to the birthday party of a friend’s 5-year old, to see the plates of sushi being wolfed down by tiny children (though not mine :)). NZer’s eating habits have changed a lot since I was a kid.

88

[QUOTE=TBG]
Replace “meat” with “vegetables” and it’s a struggle that parents have been having forever…(please don’t come at me about the merits of veggies vs meat, I was pointing out the similarity of the situations, not intending to get into that argument)
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You’re completely right – and my earlier comments are really more from this angle than “eat your meat”, since the problems with my lad are largely vege based. (Fortunately he happily eats some veges and lots of fruit – get him near a punnet of strawberries and you’d think he was a vacuum cleaner). :slight_smile:

I was trying to think, from my own experience, how the family that decides their child “shall not be vegetarian” would cope – if the kid won’t eat beans it’s one vegetable, but meat is a whole food group and is a bigger step to exclude, and is going to be a fight at every meal. Perhaps it’s just me, but I know I don’t have the emotional fortitude to sustain that.

89

My eldest has never enjoyed meat to a great extent – more the texture than any sorrow over the death of an animal, and now that she is a teen and working for a health food store, she brings home new types of vegetarian foods and whole grains, and educates us all. We have had many free-range chickens that ate like pigs and died an unknowing death, filling our freezer with juicy goodness, along with duck, turkey and geese. My 13-yr old son is practicing for his first deer hunting season this fall. Farm kids grow up with a grittier attitude to what is on their plate. My husband did ask me to stop responding to “What’s for dinner?” with the name of the animal we were serving. But if any of mine wanted to eat veggies, I would not care, except to make sure they were eating a nourishing diet.

90

Well, if meat is what is for dinner, my hypothetical kid is either going to eat it or go hungry. I mean if he/she doesn’t like the taste, too bad. If it is for some crazy hippie ethical reasons, again, too bad.

91

[QUOTE=Captain_C]
Well, if meat is what is for dinner, my hypothetical kid is either going to eat it or go hungry. I mean if he/she doesn’t like the taste, too bad. If it is for some crazy hippie ethical reasons, again, too bad.
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Mom, is that you?

92

Not that I am aware of.

93

[QUOTE=Captain_C]
Not that I am aware of.
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You sound juuuust like her, and that attitude did our relationship no favors. But hey, it’s your theoretical kid you’re going to force to eat meat, and your theoretical battle to fight.

94

My main concern would be that the child was not adopting vegetarianism in an effort to “eat healthier” or cut calories. As many have already observed, there is nothing inherently more or less healthy about lacto-ovo-vegetarianism as compared to a more omnivorous diet – it’s all about food choices, which ideally should incorporate as much variety as possible to guard against a sense of deprivation as well as optimal nutrition. Many with early onset eating disorders will adopt unusual dietary stances for their age and stage with an actual underlying motivation of weight loss or food restriction in a socially acceptable guise. From what I can glean from the OP, this is not the case at all – but it’s good for others to keep in mind who may be reading along.

95

I’m not a parent, but I’ve been the child in this situation. My parents were none to happy with my choice when I was younger, and they would do the making me sit at the table with a plate of chicken or something in front of me and not letting me leave until it was gone. I waited until they left the room for a minute and fed it to the cat. I can remember them threatening to force the stuff down my throat.

It’s been years now. I’m 21, and have had a healthy vegetarian diet since then. Eventually they let up, but at first it was mainly eat the side dishes and be stubborn. Luckily salads were a side choice at school, but I had to argue with them there to just let me have those and not the main course. Now I can get them to replace with soy patties for my section, and make marina sauce for the spaghetti and stuff when I’m over. They even like some of my options quite well. It was hard though at first.

Your son sounds like he’s made a choice and is mature enough to choose foods within it that will keep him healthy. I know he’s going to appreciate your support a lot on this, even if he doesn’t stay with it. We vegetarians have to defend our choices every time we talk to someone and it comes up. We hear the stupid jokes and the countless arguments all the time. And we get really sick of having to defend what we put in our bodies when we’re polite enough to leave everyone else alone. It’s nice to not have to fight all the time when within our own homes too. You are absolutely right here. For all the kids who have been or will be at this point, I thank you.

96

Another update, and a few comments on some themes that have arisen:

UPDATE: Last night we had “fensenjon”(based on an Iranian dish) from Diet for a Small Planet. That was one of the recipes CairoSon picked. Those Small Planet books were written when it was believed you had to get all your amino acids practically in the same swallow so it is almost comically laden with vegetarian protein sources: soy beans, peanuts, sesame seed, brown rice, and cracked wheat all in one dish. It was a bit odd (next time we are substituting tomato paste for the catsup, yuck) but both my son and his playmate (a meat-eating 11 year old boy) liked it surprisingly well. So we are off to a good start on the learn-healthy-vegetarian-recipes front.

ON DAD’S ATTITUDE - my husband and I talked, and he insists that his disapproval has nothing to do with wanting to pig out (literally, I guess) on bacon, hot dogs and other easy-to-fix foods when it is just the two of them. I suspect it IS a factor, at least subconsciously, but I can forgive him for not being thrilled with the fact he has to change his expectations.

Anyway, Dad claims the problem is with the defining moment that made our son commit to going vegetarian, a story I haven’t told but will now:

Our son manifests over-the-top behavior with respect to squashing ants, houseflies, roaches, etc. If you squish a mosquito in his presence he practically starts to cry, and he will gladly engage in a “logical” debate over whether mosquitos feel pain. A few days ago he came home upset with a busmate who killed a mosquito. My response was: “CairoSon, get a life. Mosquitos don’t feel pain and they are disease vectors. It is totally unreasonable for you to be upset about the death of a mosquito, and anyway, it is hypocritical because you eat meat and you don’t cry as you eat your hamburger, do you?”

Well, that did it. Now you can perhaps empathize with dad – he is concerned that CairoSon will now feel entitled to go insane with grief over squished mosquitos, because he’s not hypocritical, he’s a vegetarian. My feeling - I’ll still give him hell for the requiem-for-a-dead-roach act.

ON REBELLION AS A MOTIVATION: Not the case here, although I’m sure there are instances where it is. CairoSon at 10 has yet to exhibit any kind of rebellious behavior (I’m sure he will when he is older). However, it is interesting to see how this decision is helping him to define who he is – he is proud of himself and happy.

ON DISLIKE OF MEAT/UNDERLYING EATING DISORDERS AS A MOTIVIATION: Again, not the case here though it may be for others. CairoSon loves (loved?) meat, with beef stew, KFC, quarter-pounders, bacon, pepperoni pizza, salmon, and tuna sashimi all among his most favorite foods. He’s naturally thin and has a positive image in that regard - he appreciates the fact that he can eat pizza and ice cream without worrying about calorie intake.

97

[QUOTE=CairoCarol]
Our son manifests over-the-top behavior with respect to squashing ants, houseflies, roaches, etc. If you squish a mosquito in his presence he practically starts to cry, and he will gladly engage in a “logical” debate over whether mosquitos feel pain. A few days ago he came home upset with a busmate who killed a mosquito. My response was: “CairoSon, get a life. Mosquitos don’t feel pain and they are disease vectors. It is totally unreasonable for you to be upset about the death of a mosquito, and anyway, it is hypocritical because you eat meat and you don’t cry as you eat your hamburger, do you?”

Well, that did it. Now you can perhaps empathize with dad – he is concerned that CairoSon will now feel entitled to go insane with grief over squished mosquitos, because he’s not hypocritical, he’s a vegetarian. My feeling - I’ll still give him hell for the requiem-for-a-dead-roach act.
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Huh. Good thing he doesn’t know how many insects were killed in the production of his meat-free diet, huh? :stuck_out_tongue:

98

[QUOTE=Dangerosa]
My daughter likes to educate other people, and getting a cheese or almond butter sandwich when everyone else was eating noodle hotdish meant questions for her to answer.
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Not to hijack, but this is the second time I’ve seen someone mention almond butter as if it were some sort of vegetarian alternative. I know nobody thinks peanuts or noodles are animals, so what’s up with the almond butter? More importantly, is it yummy and how is it eaten?

99

[QUOTE=Cosmic Relief]
Not to hijack, but this is the second time I’ve seen someone mention almond butter as if it were some sort of vegetarian alternative. I know nobody thinks peanuts or noodles are animals, so what’s up with the almond butter? More importantly, is it yummy and how is it eaten?
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Almond butter is a peanut-allergy free peanut butter. Peanut allergies are far more common–or at least better publicized as potentially fatal–than tree nut allergies.

I’ve never actually had it, so I don’t know how it compares taste wise or nutrition-wise, but Dangerosa’s daughter was in a day care that did not permit peanut butter for allergy reasons.

100

[QUOTE=cckerberos]
Huh. Good thing he doesn’t know how many insects were killed in the production of his meat-free diet, huh? :stuck_out_tongue:
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:smiley: Seriously, I don’t think I’d share that with him. Nor the amount of bugs in his bulgur. He might end up with a serious eating disorder - sounds like a very determined kid!