In these threads, I always contribute the Northeastern US brand: B&M Baked Beans
I hadn’t thought about it for a while, and checking now I see they’ve changed their name. I submit IBI Group, formerly Cumming-Cockburn with the website www dot cumming-cockburn dot com. Unsurprisingly, that URL is now a porn site.
Siemens
I’m gonna throw in Beaver College(Arcadia University) . I remember them trying to stick it out before succumbing to a name change.
ETA: Beaver started admitting men 1972. Notable alumnus: Mike Hunt.
… which reminds me of the institution formerly known as “Dummer Charity School.” (Spelled “Dumm’r” on the Web page, but that’s just dumb.)
Not risque but I love it anyway: Bray and Scarff (kitchen appliances).
Oooooh. I would never have thought of that, it seems kind of a, er, stretch.
There’s a big trucking company on the East Coast called Guaranteed Overnight Delivery. Acronym in BIG letters, with the spelled-out name in much smaller letters below.
There was a Doper named Sofa King, but he’s not been around for years.
nevermind
There’s a British diversified services company that, among other things, leases and maintains potted plants in office buildings. Their name is Rentokil - “rent-to-kill.” :rolleyes:
Twinkie’s 20" Twankies
“We Simply Want Your Business & We Do It Right The First Time”
There were steel shutters over all the windows so we never could figure out what they were selling. (wheel rims?)
Bob’s Grill in Nags Head, N.C. has the mock-pugnacious motto emblazoned over its building, “Eat and get the hell out!”
They’re defunct now, but I’ve always thought Hooker Chemical was an unfortunate name for a company. Also, I find it a somewhat humorous Internet handle.
I’ve noticed that this is/(was?) an ironic name, too. But the way you put it is hilarious.
I swear the following is true.
In 1971/1972 ish Snap-On came out with an electronic oscilloscope / engine analyzer. Engine oscilloscope and analyzer So what to call it?
:::: Drum roll:::
The Snap-On Anal-O-Scope (a-Nal - O - scope) It analyzes, it’s an oscilloscope. The name has it all.
Anyway our SO rep came in one day and his uniform shirt had the patch for the new test on the shoulder. A guy I worked with took one look at the patch and said:
( You know where this is going, right?)
“What’s an anal scope?”
The SO guy came right back with:
“It’s a Greek tune up.”
Name of the founder, apparently. Family owned business. Office supplies, naturally. Unfortunately they no longer seem to have the page with a picture of the current owner. Lovely guy I’m sure, but his name, and company name, combined with the expression he was wearing… priceless.
(I’m from London, never been anywhere near central Florida. Found the company at work one day when I decided to type ‘boring’ into google)
What’s even better is that there’s a mega-strip-mall kind of place outside of Philadelphia with a Dick’s Sporting Goods right near a Giant supermarket. So one of the signs pointing people to various locations reads:
GIANT
DICK’S
Naval Sea Systems Command, the largest of the U.S. Navy’s five system commands, is referred to as “NAVSEA”, which looks an awful lot like what you might feel at sea.
There’s a realtor in the Philadelphia area called “Prudential Fox & Roach”. The Fox part is OK, but Roach… maybe I’ll just take the *virtual *tour, thanks.
My personal favorite is…
Harness, Dickey & Pierce
Sounds more like a place that does below-the-equator body jewelry.
They must be active in Canada as well, because I’ve occasionally seen their trucks around here… but I thought they were exterminators. In which case, the name makes perfect sense.
Others have already mentioned Fluke and Rentokil (which sounds like an alternative to “Rent to Own”), which would have mentioned. A couple of less popular ones:
Jefferson Smurfit “When in the course of Little Blue People events, it becomes necessary for one Tiny People to…” They’ve changed their name recently to Smurfit-Stone, which isn’t an obvious improvement. I pass this place all the time on Route 128 north of Boston.
Gorny-Gorny Mortuaries in Elizabeth New Jersey. They have a huge yellow sign you can’t miss on the Jersey Turnpike, with a big clock stuck between the two Gornys. Even if your family name is Gorny, why double it?