I clicked on the rolleyes. Yes, yes, you are right. It is truly far more dreadful than anything else mentioned in the OP.
I’m having a nitpicky day (oh, do shut up); the one thing I find most irritating about the things mentioned in the OP is that several of them are actually the same: people thinking that “love” is what you do with your cattle.
People who think homosexuals are pedophile, trying to recruit children.
Ahem..
Drippy ice cream cones!
And ketchup on hot dogs!
These are a few of my favorite things.
In reality, unfortunate events are what make life non-boring. Without them, there would be nothing to shape our personalities, and we would all be cookie-cutter drones shambling through a drab monochromatic dystopia. We need to have stuff to push back against, to keep our pushing muscles in shape.
But it’s a great place to raise children!
Anyway, the OP is very selfish for ignoring starvation in Yemen. 
Then you should have started with a list of more mundane things, but I’ll help.
Stupid people posting to message boards
Stupid people not realizing that they are stupid, even though the evidence keeps piling up at the message boards they participate at.
Tell that to the Baudelaire children.
I’m surprised no one did this for the OP:
I like the way he brackets “e. coli contamination of fresh greens” between “Date rape” and “cancer.” The OP is certainly a non-linear thinker!
Daylight saving time.
We don’t seem to be able to eliminate school shootings, at least in the US.
You say this like it’s some kind of clever comeback, but it’s not and shows how you are contributing to misinformation.
Golden retrievers have attacked and killed people. I’ve had experience with a rogue golden at my local dog park who was the most dangerous dog there, repeatedly growling, lunging and snapping at people as well as other dogs (although no fatalities were involved to my knowledge). We kept having to ask the guy to leave, but he kept coming back with his dog.
The difference is that golden retrievers have good press. Like most people who have known pit bulls in person, I follow alarmist news stories about dogs. It would amaze you if you saw the number of stories in which a dog attacks and/or kills someone and the breed is never mentioned UNLESS the dog is a pit bull (or someone CLAIMS the dog was). And the same police jurisdictions that shoot pit bulls involved in incidents often take an entirely different approach to non-pit-bull dogs, saying “it’s nobody’s fault, just an accident,” and returning the offending lab or Dalmatian to their home. Police bias is bad enough – no policeman with tooth marks on his ankle ever got an award from the chief for shooting a miniature poodle, so of course he claims it was a monster dog – but press bias is worse:
I think you meant down with Standard Time! DST Forever!
After every mass shooting since 2014, satirical news outlet the Onion repeats the story with this headline:
- “No way to prevent this” says only nation where this regularly happens.*
I remember an article in Readers Digest many years ago entitled How to Eat Like a Child. Under “ice cream cones”, it had “lick the ice cream down to the to of the cone. Bite off the bottom of the cone and suck the ice cream out. Leave cone upside down on the dashboard of father’s car.” With the exception of the latter (I ate the cone), for years that’s how I ate ice cream cones.
Dipped cones are the worst. You would think the chocolate coating would seal it all in, but it cracks and ice cream drips out of all the fissures.
The was an excellent moment from an episode of Mom.