Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night

Anthracite, you wound me. I consider you one of my closest friends on the boards, and you even invited me to your house… and now…

You invited Stormi to join the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night and you didn’t even tell me that such a thing existed?

sob, sob

I feel unloved. sniff

So how do I join? :slight_smile:

I’m applying for the post of cheerleader/poolboy/mascot.

I’ll be the guy that you keep around as a plaything and occasionally snack on, but you never turn me into a vampire. Before long you tire of me and bleed me dry and cast my carcass aside without a second thought.

(This is actually not much different than my normal experiences with women.)

being a Saint, I’ll naturally have to watch this group.
What? Me? Voyeur? Please…

Can I be your token straight Unholy Lesbian Vampire that you only tolerate in order to continue getting federal funding? I look good in black.

Can bisexual women join this group? Well, can I stay long enough to snack on Milo?

Wow! … and I thought that girls mostly hung around with each other stripped down to their bras and panties for tickle fights …

this sounds a little more aerobic

Just out of curiosity…what’s the ULVAN armed with, anyway?

well, the unholy lesbian vegetarian army of the night have glow in the dark salad forks, I don’t know about this lot though…
<g,d & runs…runs very fast…>

Can I join? I know I’m a guy, and straight. But I’ve got this cool cape.

Give me lives, Master, lives!

OOO, that sounds like fun. Is this somewhat related to Vampire Lesbians of Sodom?


I think we’re all glossing over an important point here, which is that “the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army of the Night” would make a great name for a band.

I’m too damn lazy. Can I just join the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Coast Guard of the Night?

Well, andygirl, I didn’t invite you and quietgirl because you’ve already been members for several months now! Ah - but you do not remember. I will recount for you….

Anthracite settled lightly on the sill of the open window, the pale curtains blowing around her as the moonlight silhouetted her lean dark form. She looked into the room, and spied her prize.

They lay there in each others arms, two young feminine forms in their tangled bedclothes. The older one was holding the younger tight to her breast, her fingers still entwined in the younger one’s hair. Anthracite could not believe her luck - she intended to give but one young woman her dark kiss - but there were two of them now! Obviously lovers, Anthracite knew that she could not give one of them the gift of eternal life and power without also giving it to the other. Even her black, undead heart was not so hard as to separate two who so obviously belonged together.

She stepped down into the room, and moved silently to the bed - she was as quiet as the shadow of the curtains rustling in the breeze. She moved to the older girl first, and bent down over her sleeping form. Moving aside her hair, she tilted the older girl’s head slightly, and gently fastened her crimson lips on the soft, white skin of the girl’s throat. There was a gentle tearing, almost like of soft tissue paper, and Anthracite drank gently from the girl’s neck.

The girl moaned a little and stirred as Anthracite took some of her lifeblood, causing her companion to grasp her more firmly in her sleep. Anthracite took what she needed to ensure the transformation would begin, then released her bite. Other than two small drops on the neck of the girl, which gleamed in the moonlight like two loose rubies on her satiny throat, there was no sign of what had transpired. Anthracite smoothed the girl’s hair back with her hand, and thanked her softly for what she took.

Anthracite moved around the bed to the younger one. Once again, she moved her hair aside and bent over the sleeping girl. Her lips joined with the young one’s neck, and the dark kiss was given again. The younger one moaned and stirred in her sleep, and the older one - now half awake - whispered to her to calm her. Anthracite drank more deeply of the little one, taking more of her soul in return for giving the young girl more of Anthracite’s strength and power. It was the work of only a few minutes, and then Anthracite withdrew, her body flushed and burning with the blood of the young girls. She felt intoxicated by their youth and love, and nearly swooned as she gazed down upon the two girls, now still again in a deep sleep.

“Now the transformation will begin, young ones, and you will join me as was intended all along.” she whispered softly. Planting a soft kiss on each girl’s lips, she crept to the window, and with a rush of curtains had disappeared into the night.

And the two girls slept on, not knowing that their lives were changing forever.


And here I though my cat had scratched me.

Let’s start the recruitment drive! Muhuhahaha!

May a Mere Man make a suggestion? Change the name to the Victorious Unholy Lesbian Vampire Army, or VULVA.

Anthracite, you haven’t been in England lately have you? I woke up with two marks on my neck a few days ago. Mark & I finally decided that they were too far apart to be a vampire, but you never know (especially after my encounter with the world’s shortest vampire in Romania last year…two fang marks on my foot…either v short or a foot fetishist…nothing else happened - either I trod on him, or the feet got him - it was rather hot!).

Anyway, can I join, as long as we keep the name & just drive a stake through Matt’s heart for the name change (sorry Matt…mwah!)? I’ve always had a thing for vampires…


Don’t you think the toil of the Coast Guard might be a bit on the heavy side? Perhaps you should consider the Unholy Lesbian Vampire Girl Scouts of the Late Afternoon. I’ll send you a recruitment pamphlet.

Do you need a token brain in a jar?