I love the news. I watch CNN, CNBC, the local, the World, and the 11:00 p.m. edition.
I am proud of my knowledge of global affairs. For instance I got to watch a 10 minute piece on whether Britney Spears breasts were real or not.
I learned that there is a dog in Harrisburg that has brought some happiness into local elderly and disabled citizens, by doing tricks, and he moonlight’s as a police dog, too!
I know for example that Ricky Martin is hot.
I learned during World News Tonight that sometimes supermarkets scanners don’t give you the right place, and that prisons can be bad places for young people.
Recently though I’ve gotten very upset. At least once a week they keep doing a piece about some war going on somewhere in Russia.
Sometimes this piece lasts a whole minute!
Don’t they know we don’t care about this unimportant stuff?
We all got our fill of war with that Serb genocide thingie that happened last year, and are sick of wars with ugly people in countries with names that sound like your choking on something!
What do we care about this ugly grey looking people? It’s so depressing and monotone over there it can’t really be important. Surely Ricky Martin or Madonna wouldn’t get caught dead in Checknya.
It’s not like they were a super power, or as if they have nuclear bombs or anything. Nope, there’s no way that any of that matters to us, and I for one wish it would stop showing up once or twice a week during my news.
What kind of sick person are you? Who are YOU to call someone else ugly? Anyone who says something to this genre, even if they are model material, are HIDEOUS in my book. Rot in Hell. “That genocide thingie” ? Even the most stoic of people can have respect for the DEATHS of THOUSANDS of people. Are you braindead? If so, perhaps we should commit genocide on the braindead… oh wait we’d only have about 10,000 people left on Earth. Too bad. We need them for breeding… rats breed fast.
[/Personal Opinion]
./^_/^\
Wolf- No offense meant, but let me be the first to whoosh you.
Whoosh: v. (etymology: An onimapeic translation of the sound of a joke going over someone’s head at Mach velocity.) A process of posting the phrase “whoosh” in order to indicate 1) The poster has misinterpreted irony, sarcasm, or humor, and does not get the joke. 2) The previous poster left an obvious set-up for a punchline a mile wide, and the “whooshed” poster treated it seriously.
Flame me all you want. I stand my ground, rats. There is nothing wrong with having a little compassion. Would you rather I reverted back to my completely unemotional, innocent-animal-on-whoever-I-happened-to-pass’-doorstep-killing, sarcastic *rat[/] self…?
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< o | o >
.<_ | _> -Prefers the reformed Wolf of Were
…\U/
The OP was decrying the lack of real news in the media. He was lamenting the preponderance of fluff, inanity, and hero-worship masturbation.
His point: that it’s difficult to find anything useful or relevant on the news. All we get is Boy Bands, lost dogs, Pokemon, and Britney Fucking Spears.
Wolf,
I belive the OP was meant to be sarcasm, implying that they were sick of seeing the “beautiful” people on the main news channels. They are more interested in world affairs, and the news only focuses on entertainment type crap.
The implication that we are sick of the ugly people in countries whos names sound like you’re choking is meant against the news media, who typically don’t focus on real news events, only the life and times of the famous, rich and beautiful.
PS- I got to see that Steven Speilberg had a kidney removed on tonights news (CNN). Funny, they didn’t cover it when I had back surgery. Could it be that no one really gives a shit? Ah…perhaps because I’m not famous.
I trust this clears up matters for the sarcasticly impaired.
Love is like popsicles…you get too much you get too high.
“What do we care about this ugly grey looking people?”
If yer talkin’ about the same ugly grey lookin’ people what keep buzzing the Midwest in them damned souped-up straw boater lookin’ things from Alpha Centauri, well then I’d just like to say that we care quite a goddamned bit!
I fer one would like this nonsense stopped, and I don’t care how feckin’ many rednecks have to be sacrificed to their diabolical proctological experiments in order to get to the bottom of this. It’s a small price to pay fer the truth.
Thank you for your kind attention to this matter. I’ll be in touch.
Dr. Watson
“Sanity is a madness put to good uses.” – George Santayana
…Never mind …I was gonna explain something about the ironic nature of irony, and the shallowness of my observations mimicking the shallowness of the news, but then I thought…
Well, this’ll give him something to focus on. And, maybe, just maybe, in the cognitive state he’s demonstrating it might be a good idea if he could unleash his hairtrigger aggressions without actually causing any damage to anything or anyone (God forbid he should be annoyed by a small child or animal.)
So, in the interests of protecting small children and animals everywhere…
Serbs are so ugly you have to put two bags over their heads before having sex with them.
How many Serbs does it take to hang a mirror?
None, it keeps cracking.
How often should a Serb go to the dentist?
never, they don’t have any teeth.
To any actual Serbs out there (don’t read this part Wolf, you won’t understand
orrsay uysgay, isthay oolfay eedsnay a argettay. oolcay?
On the other hand, I believe that the attractive and perfectly coifed talking heads are sincere and concerned when they discuss the deep issues of the entertainment biz and I can FEEL their compassion as they detail the rescue of fluffy from the not quite frozen pond. If they started really trying to read too much hard news, I’m not sure how I’d react. How many of them do you suppose could actually find Bosnia or Chechnya (sp?) on a map? They do what they know - not much.
