Unintended implications

I’m wondering in anybody else picks up on this:

Ad for car insurance company: “… and we’re available 24 hours a day!”
Unintended implication: “Because we only hire imbeciles and undergraduates so desperate for money that they’ll sit by the phone at 2:00 a.m. waiting to read a lawyer-prepared script to you when you call. You probably shouldn’t expect any of the following to exceed what can reasonably be typed into one computer screen’s worth of prepared text: courtesy, sympathy, intelligence, or insight.”

or this:

Ad for used car dealership: “We can make anybody a deal!”
Unintended implication: “If you’re stupid enough to buy the kind of car that a dealership like us would sell, then stupid enough to sign a loan for 17% interest, then yeah, we’ll be happy to make a deal with you, because we know we’ll see maybe one payment and then we’ll get our car back to sell again!”

“It’s new and improved!” — Previously, it was old and inferior.

“All items now on sale!” — We were ripping you off before.

“I’ll cut taxes, improve education, and protect the environment.” — You’re a gullible moron.

Our “annual” 50% off sale – You can sell this stuff at half the price you normally charge? So why should I buy it any other time of year?

Lib:

or “All items now on sale” - we had a bunch of stuff we were holding back, not selling.

Slightly OT, but I hate “free gift” - gee, as opposed to the gifts I pay for?

Shaky Jake

“Prices will never be this low again!”: until sales slow down, that is.

Everyday low prices - we’re too cheap to have sales

Sign on telephone pole:

“I lost 40 pounds in 2 weeks. Call for free sample.”

Do they send you fat?

My Uncle has two anus’s

Unintended implication: My poo makes an interesting design in the bowl.

I always shook my head over the “Killian’s Red Instead” campaign. Used to have billboards all over Atlanta with a picture of the bottle and the legend:

Killian’s Red instead of something special, one had to assume. At least it represented a certain degree of truth in advertising.