Unintentionally disastrous childhood acts

When I was very small, we had an “outside dog” named “Shivers”. I decided it would be fun to play hairdresser with him and put some rubber bands around his poor legs (fairly tightly) that were not noticed for quite some time, unfortunately. :eek:

There was also some innocent shoplifting. My mom, on the other hand, set an entire room on fire playing with matches and didn’t tell my grandmother about it until grandma was on her deathbed.

So what sorts of unfortunate things did you do as a child before you knew any better?

Rocks on the railroad tracks . . . “pennies from heaven” dropped from windows of school bus onto cars below, and in that same vein, The Water Balloon That Smashed the Windshield (of course that was due mostly to the coolness of the water inside the balloon, relative to the heat build-up inside the car–who knew?

Bottle of HP sauce (glass). Young dogfish using it as a hammer…on the top of the TV :smack: .

HP sauce smells…interesting, as it drips inside a TV set and cooks on the hot bits, i can still smell it now, and see it flowing slowly down the screen.

when i was too young to have yet heard the warning “you’ll put your eye out with that” i put my eye out with that. well, not literally out, but scar tissue on one’s cornea is permanent damage.

(this story is not without a silver lining, however - when i need new glasses, i only have to pay for one rx lens.)

Ten-speed bikes (remember those?) are not built for taking jumps off of large wooden ramps at the bottom of hills, like you can do with a Huffy dirt bike. At the age of ten I learned this lesson the hard way in the form of landing face flat on the pavement twenty feet away from my where bike crashed, nearly knocking myself unconscious, and chipping my front tooth in the process. For several years I had an ugly yellow false tooth in my grin before I had it capped off with something more real-looking.

Here’s the ultimate “don’t play with matches” story for you. When my husband was 7, he and a couple of his little buddies were playing with matches in a forest. They thought they heard someone coming, so they dropped the matches and ran. They burned down 20 acres.

Well, I certainly can’t top these, but when I was 12, my little brother was into making rubber eggs (you know, you put a raw egg into a cup of vinegar and leave it for 3 days or so). I picked up the latest creation–which had been done with blue food coloring, so it was a blue rubber egg–and said, “I wonder what happens if you put it in the microwave?” I had never been told not to put whole eggs in the microwave.

What happens is, the egg explodes, getting blue drips everywhere, and the ceramic lining of the microwave turns into splinters. The Corelleware plate survives just fine, though. We got a nice new microwave, and I never put an egg in again.

I have never heard of this - what would you do with a rubber egg? The shell turns rubber? :confused:

As very young boys, my brothers accidently set a public park on fire…they ran away, and the entire neighbourhood showed up to watch the fire being put out.

Later that evening, whilst the family were watching television (this is all before I was born), my mum was praising my brothers for being such good little boys, and not at all like the bad, bad boys who did that awful thing – she honestly didn’t realise it was them – and my oldest brother burst into tears (he was about 7, and the younger 5). Mum was extremely surprised, to say the least.

Eek is right. My dad’s a veterinarian–once I assisted a surgery for a stray dog brought in by someone who’d found it staggering around… evidently, some kids thought it would be fun to put rubberbands around her neck, just behind her ears. We had to reattach her head. The bands were just this side of cutting through her esophagus and were working on her spine. One ear had to be removed entirely.

What happened to your poor dog??

In first grade, I held a pencil under the seat of the kid next to me as he was sitting down. I thought it’d poke him and he’d jump up comically like in the cartoons. But it really hurt him (the point went into his skin which was painful) and I felt really bad and learned that life isn’t like cartoons.

When I was three I drank ant poison and had to be rushed to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. I was kept overnight for observation.

Er, I didn’t know we had the technology to do that…

When I was about 4 or 5, I was playing race car driver in the car while my mom ran into the store for a minute. As part of my racing, I apparently undid the hand brake, and the car rolled out into the street - the car stopped before it hit anything, or anyone hit it. Because I didn’t fess up 'til a couple years ago, my mom spent 20+ years thinking that the car had a defective brake.

My grandmother told me once how she accidentally burned several acres of fields behind her house when she was a little girl playing with matches.

I was so small I barely remember (maybe 4?) I know they sunk into his poor legs and he was taken to the vet and treated and was okay thereafter, but he also ran away at some point, never to return, which is hardly surprising. I may have painted his toenails, too, but that was okay.

Speaking of cartoons, you reminded me of something else: my mother could never get my father to wake up for church on Sunday and she’d call him and call him, ad infinitum. Well, on cartoons they wake very sleepy people up with a bucket of water…the poor guy got a glass of cold water in the face in bed on a Sunday morning. He had to be wondering about the wisdom of breeding at that point.

Needless to say, he got up.

I still have a dark dot on my hand where I got stabbed with a pencil in 3rd grade (though that was an accident, as far as I know). You’d think the graphite would have worked its way out by now, wouldn’t you?

Well, maybe that was the wrong phrasing. The bands had cut through the muscle on either side of her neck, were starting to cut through her esophagus in the front, and had cut down to the spine on the top. They had gone entirely through the ear and ear canal on the right, so that the right ear was hanging by about a half inch hunk of skin and muscle.

That is just so horrible. I never thought of anything happening to our dog beyond swelling, lacerations and some infection, which is atrocious enough. If he lost his feet or something, he certainly wouldn’t have been the only one scarred for life. I can’t even imagine being one of those children who unintentionally kills or maims a peer ::shudder::

Children are dangerous.

Oh my gosh. My friend did that to me in 4th grade - the point went straight into my perenium. Worst pain I’ve ever felt. Ever.

You didn’t go to school in NY, did you?

Some people talk about how the crashed their dad’s car when they were young.

I, instead, talk about how I crashed my dad’s sailboat into the harbor :eek: