As yet around round of colds and illness sweeps through the Briston household, I again stand untouched by its mucousy grasp. Also, I cut myself twice recently, and noticed that my cuts are healing at a much faster rate than they used to.
The only logical conclusion I could make was that, lo after all these years, I’ve finally started developing superpowers.
My wife, however, remains skeptical. I think she’s just worried that mind control powers are next on my personal evolution.
I couldn’t get past this sentence - why would you want to do that to your children? Are you worried that they won’t be guilty enough in life or something?
A young boy walks past his mother’s room and sees her lying on her bed, rubbing her chest, and moaning “I need a man! I need a man!” He doesn’t think much about it, and continues on to his own room.
The next day, the same thing happens. He walks past his mother’s room and sees her lying on her bed, rubbing her chest, and moaning “I need a man! I need a man!”
The next day, he walks past, and sees his mother in her room with a man.
He thinks about this for a minute, then walks into his own room, lays down, starts rubbing his chest, and moans “I need a bicycle! I need a bicycle!”
And the loaves and fishes bit. Of course people would get pretty tired of the refreshments you serve. "Gee, what a surprise. Filet O’Fish sandwiches and Thunderbird. That’s a real gourmet meal you made. :rolleyes: "
I always wanted telepathy, precognition, telekinesis and mind control.
With a few exceptions, mutants in the Marvel Universe would gain their powers around puberty. I held out hope, but when I was thirteen, all I got was acne. I barely even got facial hair, how are you going to be Wolverine without some serious stubble?
I was around five when I found out Santa Clause was just mom, and moody at that. Around that time it occurred to me God was about as likely to do something for me as Santa Clause. I still prayed once in awhile anyway. Can’t hurt just in case and all that.
At that same age I was totally Batman. Had a towel fastened around my neck with a safety pin as my bat-cape and ran around constantly making the “nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, Batman!” theme.
BTW, at eight years old if you’d caught me praying out the window, is was definitely aliens I was praying to. I desperately wanted them to pick up my thoughts with their telepathy and come get me, or at least do something to reveal their existence.
To me, God was always up, and it didn’t matter if I were indoors or outdoors or looking out a window.
Those aliens though, i wanted to be sure they had a clear line of sight connection to my brain.
My parents once drove across the US with me in the back seat going “NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA BATMAN” the entire way. I’m must have had invulnerability, since I’m alive today.
Because a random and unprovoked attack on religion is exactly what every thread needs. :rolleyes:
On a more topical note, I always wanted flight and invisibility, though I never went so far as to pray for them. Maybe that’s why I never developed any powers more impressive than belching on command.
