What would you do if you had superpowers?

I mean, if I had superpowers, that’d be totally wicked. I’d be an awesome world dictator. Thousands and thousands of slaves. Oh, and concubines. Can’t forget those.

So yes, if I had superpowers, I’d probably use them for evil. You?

Dialing grandmas phone # right now… :eek:



I’d play pro rugby, if they’d allow me. Barring that, I’d be a vigilante crime fighter, maintaining law and order to America’s cities.

Depends on how powerful I was. If we’re talking Superman level, then I’d do all the things that Superman should have done but was too much of a pussy to do. You know, make people be nice.

D’you know, that’s one of the bad things about having family on this board.

Don’t worry you still have a couple cousins way higher on grandmas shit list that you could hope to accidentally acheive short of strafing her house.

Couple? I’m thinking five. Honestly, Robert’s the only one more favored than I am, and he and I are going to be neck and neck for a long time.

Certain people would be permanently naked. Just because I can.

On Sundays when I realized that I didnt buy enough beer I’d circle the Earth in reverse making it Saturday again so I could do what I should’ve the first time.

As for my real problems, I’d probably do nothing to change them or make their consequences any easier on me.

I’d use them to make money, something few superheros seem to do. They’d probably bar Superman from the NFL, but I could make a mint launching satelites, transporting cargo across the ocean, what have you. And I’d pick up the 25 mil for Osama. If I had professor X type powers, I’d be the ultimate insider trader, and also find Osama, though I couldn’t actually nail him myself.

Two chicks at the same time, of course.

I’ll damn sure not tell anyone that I have them.

First, I’d design a really snazzy-looking Super Hero outfit.

Then, I’d have stirring patriotic music playing while I stood in the foreground looking bold, proud and fearless, with a gentle fan blowing into my face (the fan being out of shot). I’d say, ‘No one person can solve all of the world’s problems… not even I. But, blessed with these special gifts, I will do my part to fight crime and corruption wherever these ugly stains blemish the nobler aspirations of the human heart. I will commit myself to battling for truth, for fairness, for peace, justice and honour in every way I can, without fear or favour. I know that if we all work together towards this shared vision of what we can be, then we can usher in a new era of peace, harmony and prosperity’. Then I’d whoosh off into the sky.

I’d then spend all day idling around and doing whatever the heck I want, knowing that no-one can stop me. I’d also play mean practical jokes on people (which the comic book super-people hardly ever seem to do), like using my heat vision to melt one of the tyres on someone’s car. I’m pretty sure that when I’m using my secret identity (Herbert Twonk, a bicycle repair man) I’d also play a lot of poker, and cheat with my X-Ray vision.

If I had superpowers …

… I’d get a lot more work done, in less time, and be rich because of that. And still have lots of time off! Yeah, I have no imagination … :slight_smile:

I’d be controlling people’s dreams. You can do pretty much anything you want to someone in their dream and when you’re done they wake up mostly fine, physically at least. It’s evil with all of the fun but none of the remorse. With a little creativity I would be able to make money out of it too.

In a MUD a long time ago, a friend was saying “wouldn’t it be neat if we had ‘gate’ irl and could teleport to each other’s place?”

Me: “so long as Mom didn’t get it too, yeah”

She: “AURGH!”

So, which powers, and, does Mom get them too?

Making money, pretty much. Nothing too dishonest; with invulnerability and X-ray telescopic vision, I could just find sunken treasure and then plunge right down to snag it, mine by right of salvage. And when I didn’t have to worry about cash any more I could do some crime-fighting to pass the time.

Probably start my own war against much of America; the warmongers, Christofascists and corporate elite. Vaporizing the tobacco industry comes to mind. Oh, and I’d blow up the Vatican and Mecca.

One power I’d need would be the ability to make people into atheists; to burn out whatever it is in people’s brains that produces religiousity. Religious fanatics might not fear death, but that would scare them.

I don’t think that would scare them. I mean, even though you may make them become athiest, God wouldn’t send them to hell because it was against their will (honestly, I don’t think anything could scare a fanatic).

A few judiciously-placed lightning bolts would get people’s attention.