University professor to students: "You cocksuckers are vectors of disease to me"

A history professor at Ferris State University in Michigan is on administrative leave after posting a profanity-filled introductory course to his students in which he refers to them as “cocksuckers” and says they’re vectors of disease to him.

You can judge for yourself; I’m going to post the video down below. But I think he was being satirical.

I’m gonna go with obvious satire here.

The professor said: "There is absolutely nothing you can do, you have no control over your grade. It doesn’t matter how f------ hard you work or how good your grades are, my grading system is based on the Calvinist doctrine of predestination. I figure if it was good enough for Americans, it was good enough for me. …

“So I randomly assign grades before the first day of class. I don’t want to know s— about you. I don’t even want to know your name. I just look at the number and I assign a grade. That is how predestination works. And don’t come f------ complaining to me. Take your complaints to God. He ordained this system, not me.” He then goes on to talk about his attendance policy.

(Later he backs down from this and gives a normal explanation of his grading system)


I’m retiring at the end of this year and I couldn’t give a flying f— any longer.

I seriously wish I had had this guy in college. Also, I can’t wait until I get to use that line.

Why on earth?

I don’t see the humor, sarcastic or not. If I got this jerk, I’d drop his class immediately. I don’t understand and don’t want to understand.

I suspect that might suit you both

Yeah, I see this as pure satire. I bet he’s a fine professor and cares about his students. Wish I had more professors like him back in my school days.

He offered up some real education.

I do.

I’m still not sure how I feel about the whole thing, but I definitely see the humor.

I had an English class taught by a very funny guy. It was an upper level English course on satire taught by Christopher Rawson.

On the first day of class, he asked if anyone present was not an English major, as he would allow you to audit the course, but didn’t want to assign you a grade. I was a biochem major, but kept my mouth shut.

He was initially pissed off at me when he discovered my deceit, but we became friends.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

If I was a student of his, I wouldn’t have any problem with any of that if he was being satirical or sarcastic, but if he was actually randomly assigning grades right from the start and I got a bad grade, I’d be pissed.

(If I randomly got an A+ though, I might not be quite as pissed :blush:)

Was it his use of the homophobic “cocksuckers” that got him suspended? Or, just his general rant?

For anyone who hasn’t watched the video, he makes it pretty clear that he’s taking that from the show Deadwood.

If you have to explain it, it is failed comedy/satire.

And just because some other work has used a term, it doesn’t mean it is free for you to use (n-word, anyone?).

And finally, having worked in higher ed for a long time, some professors can be way WAY full of themselves. ISTM this individual may suffer from that.

Or you’ve misread your audience.

I thought the Calvinistic approach to grading kind of gave it away, among other things, (and I thought it was hilarious), but I could see how this was perhaps not the best idea on the professor’s part (though I did have a professor in chemistry in college who shared a very similar sense of humor to this guy. I loved him, but you’re going for a very niche audience with that approach.)

Did you watch the video? You can’t tell if something’s “failed comedy/satire” if you haven’t seen/heard it.

And the prof may very well be guilty of that.

His side of the story is that he’s been doing this for years and everyone has been fine with it. He attributes his suspension to his speaking out against the administration for something or other.

The link in the OP cites reddit posts from people claiming to be his former students; the consensus appears to be that this sort of thing is generally familiar to them, but “next level” compared to when they had him.

And given that he was retiring anyway, my guess is that he went further over the top than usual (cite: “I no longer give a flying fuck”) and the Dean took the opportunity to suspend him for possibly unrelated reasons.

That is an entirely different discussion - The logical (if/then) axiom (a statement or proposition which is regarded as being established, accepted, or self-evidently true) I stated is widely accepted as true for comedy.

It’s an intentionally provocative and therefore memorable way to launch a discussion on attribution and citations.

Women suck cocks too, it’s not necessarily a homophobic term. Hell, guys who get flexible enough WILL suck their own cocks, doesn’t make them gay or anything.

And Calvinist grading is fucking hilarious. Man, I bet that for a lot of professors attending classes in their last year of teaching would be absolutely awesome.