I hate tapping! My boyfriend is always drumming or tapping lightly in rhythym with his fingers on the table. It makes me want to kill him.
In college I HATED when people showed up to class in pajama pants or sweats. Could they not be bothered to get dressed? At least put some jeans on for christs sake!
If you leave me a message, and I return your call, please do not ask “Did you get my message?”.
Of course I got your message, dimwit. How the hell do you think I knew to dial your number? Random dialing?
Makes me want to stab myself right in the fucking eyeball with an ice pick.
Whenever people mash up their ice cream with their spoon so it’s like soft-serve, all soggy and runny and mushy. It drives me nuts.
That, and anybody who spits on the sidewalk in a public place.
Styrofoam
Balloons
Shouting fast-talking car dealers on the radio
I’ve got a friend/customer who calls me and says “Did you get my e-mail?” ARG.
I use this phrase. The context I use it in is:
“A situation has arisen that may have a negative impact on your desired goal. Please advise how you want me to proceed to minimize this impact.”
Moving on:
People who use impact as a verb. Likewise, “efforting.” Quit trying to make yourself sound corporate. It’s trying, for God’s sake.
It’s All Right, not alright. I have stopped reading books because I’ve come across alright.
When my husband eats chips right out of the bag. Sorry, put some in a bowl and portion yourself! I’ve given up on him, so I don’t say anything, but I still allow myself a little grrrr when I see him do it.
I’m always skeptical when I hear people say that a certain word is “wrong” and another word that means exactly the same thing is “right”. Turns out my skepticism was quite warranted in this case. “Alright” is no absurd neologism: it’s been in use since 1887.
It’s COM-fortable. Not CON-fortable.
I swear to god I’m going to strangle the next country-ass simpleton who mispronounces that.
Collages. TV editors who flash so much shit in front of your eyes it leaves you wondering what the hell is going on. Also with a headache.
Close-ups. When the camera focuses on a persons nasal hair or on glasses that fill the whole screen when the focus should be on what the person is doing with his hands, and discussing, like the subject of the document, conversation, etc.
I’m so on board with some of you, it’s scary. I thought I was mostly alone on some of my pet peeves. Here’s one that makes my husband laugh at me:
There’s a commercial that played for a long while a couple of years ago and I still see it every now and again. It’s for some macaroni and cheese product that’s been made single serving and microwaveable so that kids can make their own after school snack. Well, the kid in the commercial makes his mac and cheese, swipes the bowl off the counter, and you can just see one lone macaroni escape its inevitable death by mastication by bailing out of the bowl and onto the counter. The kid doesn’t notice it, and leaves the room with the wayward macaroni just SITTING there. Congealing.
At this point, my mind just goes off on its own projecting beyond the commercial into what happens with the mess and just knowing someone has to clean that up. It can’t just sit there. Fucking irresponsible kids.
we should conversate about this issue
Can’t you just be happy for that lone macaroni’s escape from the jaws of defeat?
A-men! Also, “seizuring.” I’ve been watching Emergency Vets on Animal Planet, and I’ve seen them say – many times – that an animal is “still seizuring.” Arg! That should be “seizing,” and you should know!
Misplaced apostrophe’s.
I could hardly bring myself to type that, even as an example!
snort
Feel good story of the year!!
My fingernails scraping or scratching against that isn’t skin or kitty fur. I have to clip them twice a week or I go insane.
This:
is the most awesomely awesomest thing I have read all day.
Well, yeah. Or at least until the coffee’s gone.
My dog just loves his tennis ball, but I can’t let him have it any time that we’re not actively involved in a game of fetch because he will start pulling off the fuzz with his front teeth and the sound makes me want to scream.
Wooden paddles and ice cream freak me out too–I’m not overly fond of those cheap wooden chopsticks either but I can usually cope with that.
Those fucking radio ads that are usually for some crappy credit site that repeat the name of the site over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until I feel like taking a hammer to my car stereo.
Hearing the subwoofer on a car stereo makes me nearly homicidal–it’s not the fact that the music itself is loud, it’s actually the physical impact the bass makes on me. Any time I can feel that sound in my solar plexus I get extremely anxious, then I get irrationally angry and I’ve been known to go out and scream at someone across the street to turn the goddamned thing down before I destroy it. I’m not sure what causes this but it’s very well defined–a normal stereo playing loud is just annoying, but if there’s a big subwoofer along with it it just trips my breakers.
People who sing (badly) while listening to their mp3 players need to be kicked in the head. Goddammit, you morons–WE CAN HEAR YOU! We can’t hear, nor do we care about, the rockin’ song you’re listening to. From our perspective, it’s just this off key, random noise that is so fucking annoying–actually, it’s even worse when the volume on the player is jacked up to max because there’s this tinny irritating noise along with the off key singing–GAHH! STOP IT!!
I can’t stand acrylic fabric, especially sweaters. I’m allergic to polyester anyway–it makes me itch and break out in a rash–but knit acrylic sweaters are the worst. My hands feel creepy for minutes if I touch the stuff.
Toe socks. The idea of wearing them and having the knit between my toes rubbing together–shudder! I can wear tabi, but only if they’re the fine weave cotton ones–no knits.
Hair left in the bathroom drain is horrible. I can’t just leave it there because it’s nasty, but it gets worse when you pull it and it starts coming up in clogs through the drainholes, all tangled and with scurfs of soap scum in it. Yes, honey, I’m looking at you!
The phase “Get Over It!” makes me literally have violent tendencies. It occurs when you express an opinion or an emotion about something to someone and that is the response you get. It is the most immature and subhuman phrase that I know of. It is possible that the person in question has an issue that they really should just forget about but that is not the way it should ever be phrased. Mature adults should never speak to one another that way. It is likely that the issue at hand is actually important to the person in question and should be dealt with in ways other than sorority girl style.
Agreed. Mine attends to this at around four thirty in the morning, right before I’m about to wake up anyway and at the tail end (ha!) of a sleep cycle… so… yeah. I routinely get woken up by a lovingly attentive “Schleck Schleck Schleck” echoing up from right next to the bed. I find it slightly nauseating, not because he’s licking his own asshole per se, but just the throaty, wet sound of it.
Along those lines, there’s a commercial that runs here where there’s the sound of somebody making an AHHHHHHHHHHHHH noise deep in the back of their throat so it’s kind of rattly–hard to explain, but it’s really, really loud and is just this weird, sort of inhuman noise. It freaks me out. I leap for the remote the instant it stabs into my brain.