Unusual Corporate Marriages

In My Humble Opinion
1

I am sitting here looking through websites to find some corporation phone numbers to see if my step-mom can get some quantity stuff for this Christmas thing she puts together every year. This year, they are giving out items to 276 boys and 55 girls in the local juvenile detention centers.

Of the items they are putting in the packages are boxer shorts for the boys and socks for the girls. So naturally I head on over to hanes.com.

I look at the bottom and Hanes is a brand under the Sara Lee Corporation.

So the same company that makes scrumptous frozen desserts also makes underwear. I found that funny. They also own the brand Jimmy Dean and Playtex. The also own Ball Park Franks and Bali bras. Underwear and food, food and underwear. Odd combo.

So, what real corporations are “married” that you find odd? What fake corporate marriages would be strikingly funny to you and why?

2

Well, if Harpo, Inc. and the Jerry Falwell Ministries merged, you’d have O God, Inc.

3

You’ll probably find a lot of weird corporate marriages in the consumer products industries. A lot of familiar brands are owned by faceless conglomerates (e.g. Conagra, which owns Armour, Blue Bonnet, Egg Beaters, Fleischmann’s, Knott’s Berry Farm, Maypo, Parkay, Swift Premium, Banquet, Bumble Bee Tuna, Chef Boyardee, Chun King, Dennison’s Chili, La Choy, Libby’s, Hunt’s, Marie Callender’s, Morton Salt, Act II Popcorn, Campfire Marshmallows, County Line Cheese, Crunch-n-Munch, Jiffy Pop, Orville Redenbacher’s, Peter Pan Peanut Butter, Reddi Wip, Rosarita Refried Beans, Swiss Miss, Andy Capp’s Snacks, Pemmican Jerky, Slim Jim, Healthy Choice, Pam, Wesson, Eckrich, Gulden’s Mustard, Hebrew National, Van Camp’s, Butterball Turkey, and a bunch of other brands you’ve probably never heard of.)

I’ve always found it odd that the company I work for, United Technologies, makes airplane and rocket engines, elevators, helicopters, air conditioners, fuel cells, space suits, propellers, and butt plugs, Well, not that last one, yet.