Because they’re man-eating tigers, not beaver-eating tigers.
Really…who ever heard of a beaver-eating tiger? They don’t even live on the same continent…
If MacGyver isn’t available, give me Maxwell Smart. I’ll be able to escape while the tigers and beavers gang up on him…and miss by that much.
Jeannie
Well, first you cross the river with the beavers, then you come back for the tigers, and when you drop off the tigers, you take back the beavers and then cross with the tree…
My first thoughts were TV Davy Crockett or TV Daniel Boone. (Didn’t Fess Parker play both?)
Ellie May Clampett is a great answer though.
What’s funny about that is I almost posted Jethro as a joke.
FBI Agent Ian Edgerton, from Numb3rs. He’s a well-armed sniper.
Marlin Perkins, in the helicopter he used to watch Jim wrestle tigers and make erudite comments. “Jim will tag the drugged cheetah. The cheetah seems to be waking up…Cheetahs can run at speeds up to 45 miles an hour…Jim seems to be making about 46…”
Well, neither is Steve Irwin? Walker Texas Ranger?
Regardless James Tiberius Kirk is the best answer, always.
Well that’s just plain sexist.
I think I’m going with Major Kusanagi, from Ghost in the Shell. The only catch is that if she’s wearing her camouflage/invisibility suit, I might not see her until after I know I’m saved.
By G-d, you are correct, Sir!
Rip his shirt and he is invincible.
I change my vote.
Walker, Texas Ranger.
Fair dinkum.
I vote for Cara Coburn (from the ‘Tomorrow People’) because:
Teleporting is out of bounds for this OP.
SFC Zeke Anderson (from the show Tour of Duty)
Automatic weapons, rest of his platoon probably not too far off, ability to call for a helicopter… what’s not to like.
The Fat Man (William Conrad)
He’s so large and meaty, the tigers would pounce on him and I could get away.
Jack Bauer
Worst person to pick would be Kim Bauer
Even bad if she shows up to help Dad and steps into a tiger trap.
That’s why I was going to nominate Newman from Seinfeld.