Uranus makes me uncomfortable

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I wish something could be done about Uranus. I’m just sick of looking at it and hearing about it. Which sucks, because my kids are totally into Uranus. Whenever we’re are looking at certain books, there’s Uranus, boldly being waved in my face. And my kids, without fail, will ask me something about Uranus, to which I blush and quickly change the subject. I tell them not to use such language. And then there’s the uncontrollable giggling.

I really do hate bringing up Uranus, because it makes me so uncomfortable, especially in polite company. No should be talking about anuses with their young children, Ur’s or anyone else’s.

So please, take Uranus and get it the hell out of here please. It disgusts me. The rings, the smoothness…and it’s just so big and blue. It’s unnatural!

2

It’s a planet I can totally get behind.

Asstronomy is fun!

3

And then there’s the inevitable “Daddy, I want to touch Uranus!”

Those are words no man should ever hear his four-year-old say.

4

Aliens always come to Earth to steal our water and then we have to beat them back.
But Uranus is 14 times bigger then Earth and mostly ice. They should just invade Uranus. It wouldn’t put up a fight and they would be much happier in the end.

5

I have a picture of Uranus in my guest bathroom.

6

You can see Uranus with your naked eye if you know exactly where to look. I know; I’ve done it!

7

Ah, but then we’d have to wipe them off Uranus. Klingons on Uranus would be very difficult to wipe off, as they’re quite stubborn.

8

I do declare, my eye will never be naked in the presence of Uranus!

9

**Farnsworth: **I’m sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed Uranus in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all.
**Fry: **Oh. What’s it called now?
Farnsworth: Urectum.

10

This is why I use the Greek pronunciation (or at least, something closer to it): “OOO-ra-Noos”

11

Cosmology, colonoscopy. I always confuse the two.

12

We should have just named it after King George III, like William Herschel wanted to. That would have stopped Americans giggling about it all the time.

13

If necessary, the aliens could probe Uranus. Apparently, they have lots of experience.

14

Just wait until they discover Urine-anus. ‘Hey dad, is that the planet where you piss out of your ass?’

Be grateful that your kids are as mature as they are.

15

Uranus would be making you uncomfortable too if you binged on sugar free gummy bears.

16

Ted “Theodore” Logan: [to God] First of all, congratulations on Earth! It’s a most excellent planet. And Bill and I enjoy it on a daily basis.

Bill S. Preston, Esq.: Not to mention your other great planets: Mars, Jupiter… Uranus.

[Silly laugh][Air Guitar]

Bill & Ted’s Bogus journey

17

I don’t laugh at Uranus. I’m too Sirius.

18

You must be more flexible than I am.

19

Did you know that Uranus is a gas giant?

20

So’s your momma! :stuck_out_tongue: