And all this time my mother said I was an only child…
Jay-zuz! Who knew?
Damn! I can’t find “The Ballad of the Split Pee.” Someone wrote it for me when I complained of the same problem!
Trinopus
The problem seems to be that the nozzle of your “hose” is made of flesh and therefore inherently unreliable. Perhaps someone should invent a steel nozzle that can be inserted into the tip of your “hose” to correct the flow, much like a high-speed nozzle for a garden hose.
A quick search for “urethra nozzle” on google drug up this picture, which is similar to what I’m proposing:
If you find it, Trinopus you will be my new local best friend. That sounds like it would be hilarious.
I always thought that split-streamed pee, in addition to the infamous hard-right-turn-upon-leaving-the-wang pee, were both due to, how shall I put it, residues of other, non-urine, uses to which said wang had been put.
As a cite, I offer a paraphrased quote from Me, Myself and Irene: “Why am I pissing like I had sex all night?”
I have never been so happy to be a girl in all my life.
Eh, penis…
lieu, you’re a freakish threat to all that is godly in this great country of ours.
I’m on to your little games. It took some doing, but I think we really know what your attitudes toward urine are…right?
Would you care to explain this to us, Mr. “Kenneth Patrick Porche” lieu?
You’re a very bad man, Mr Porche–er lieu.
All these posts and not a single Dick Cheney joke?
Look on the bright side, lieu: now you can water two trees at once.
:eek:
I had NO IDEA!!! Poor guys!
Echos another poster “I’m sooooooooooooo glad to be a girl”!!!
NurseCarmen, your urethra is shaped like sleestak??
News to him I’m sure!
That’s how twins are made, you know.
Damn. Now I’m going to snicker the next time someone is called a V.I.P.
:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
“Binary Bukkake”! HA!!
…I know it’s up a ways, but Waverly, my friend…that was quality. I’d put in the obligatory “band name” reference here, but I’ll pass.
wanders away grinning, muttering, "binary bukkake, heh."
You should masturbate three times a day.
Don’t know what to do about that split urine stream thing, though.
Happens to me too, an upper and a lower stream, primarily early in the morning. My lower stream never has much pressure behind it so it’s easy to redirect with my index finger.
mental note: never shake hands with Jeff Olsen
Heh. 
I always give my hands a good scrub when done. The ones you really have to watch out for are those don’t wash up after taking a crap.