US Intelligence Agencies

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
1

Sent to me by a reader who asked me to post it:

Did anybody notice that in SDSTAFF Manny’s answer to the question about what the 13 U.S. intelligence agencies are and what they do, he didn’t actually list the agencies or their responsibilities? Isn’t that an awkward omission?

I grant there’s a link to yet another web site that does offer a list, but web sites are ephemeral things. The Straight Dope, or its junior leagues, last. I hope the answer’s patched up before being laid to rest in the archives.

Joseph Nebus

2

Pretty good idea. Uncle Sam could decide to clam up tomorrow, and then the piece would look pretty silly, wouldn’t it?

Also, as our correspondent points out, the Straight Dope is widely expected to outlast not only that website, but also the entire internet and the United States itself (the successor regime is kind of a sensitive matter, so don’t ask about it, OK?).

I’ll write up a little bit on each one and run it by Ed to see what he says.

Thanks for the letter!

3

Geez–two Moderators have posted to this thread; one of them started the thread, and the other one is the author of the Staff Report in Question, and neither one of you posted a link to the Staff Report in Question, which is of course What are the 13 U.S. intelligence agencies? Tsk, tsk.

4

Have you noticed that still nobody has actually listed the thirteen agencies?

Now you’ve got me really curious. I’ve got to go see the site marked.

5

Here they are:

Director of Central Intelligence
Central Intelligence Agency
Community Management Staff
National Intelligence Council

Department of Defense
Defense Intelligence Agency
National Security Agency
National Imagery & Mapping Agency
National Reconnaissance Office
Air Force Intelligence
Army Intelligence
Marine Corps Intelligence
Navy Intelligence

Departmental Intelligence
Elements (non-DoD)
Department of State
Department of Energy
Department of the Treasury
Federal Bureau of Investigation

6

Manny has amended the Staff Report, and it will appear shortly.

7

Gee, I assumed he didn’t list them 'cause the Illuminati told him not to…

8

CalMeacham, your list is confusing. Most notably, there are more than 13 entries. I think this is because there are some headers. I will try to clean up the list for easier reading.

Top level oversight of all agencies
Director, Central Intelligence Agency
Community Management Staff
National Intelligence Council
Agencies

Central Intelligence Agency

**Department of Defense **
Defense Intelligence Agency
National Security Agency
National Imagery & Mapping Agency
National Reconnaissance Office
Air Force Intelligence
Army Intelligence
Marine Corps Intelligence
Navy Intelligence
Departmental Intelligence Elements (non-DoD)
Department of State
Department of Energy
Department of the Treasury
Federal Bureau of Investigation

9

Ack! Tried to preview and hit the wrong button.

Top level oversight of all agencies
Director, Central Intelligence Agency
Community Management Staff
National Intelligence Council

Agencies

  1. Central Intelligence Agency

**Department of Defense **
2. Defense Intelligence Agency
3. National Security Agency
4. National Imagery & Mapping Agency
5. National Reconnaissance Office
6. Air Force Intelligence
7. Army Intelligence
8. Marine Corps Intelligence
9. Navy Intelligence

Departmental Intelligence Elements (non-DoD)
10. Department of State
11. Department of Energy
12. Department of the Treasury
13. Federal Bureau of Investigation

I’m not sure what qualifies as an “intelligence” agency, but that’s the list. Maybe that should be part of the answer Manny posts?

10

I am SO embarrassed. - Jill
I was just passing on someone else’s comments, but that’s no excuse.

11

I’m afraid they’re gonna give you the coffee mug with the big chip* in it, Jill.

Incidentally, the specific agencies within the Departments of State and the Treasury which count as being among the 13 official intelligence agencies are the State Department’s Bureau of Intelligence and Research and Treasury’s Office of Intelligence Support. Apparently the Department of Energy is itself considered an intelligence agency.
[sub]*Or will that be the coffee mug with the microchip in it?..hmmm[/sub]

12

[[I’m afraid they’re gonna give you the coffee mug with the big chip* in it, Jill.]]

I just really, really, really, really hope I don’t get a spanking!!

13

Yeah, I pulled that out for the summary, MEB. The main reason it hasn’t been posted yet is that it is too long and boring and not entertaining at all.

I’m going to try to punch it up a little bit, but there’s only so much you can do with “we deliver intelligence to the Secretary.”

14

Oh, sure, that’s the reason. “Yeah, all the nitty-gritty details of the intelligence community are just too…um…boring–yeah, that’s it! boring! You really don’t want to hear about all that.”

I suppose you could make a lot of factually correct statements in highly entertaining ways: “The State Department’s Bureau of Intelligence and Research officially denies engaging in ‘wet work’ or having a corps of beautiful seductress-assassins.” “A spokesperson for the Department of Energy categorically denied that the DOE is secretly constructing a powerful death ray space station on the far side of the Moon.” “We could find no evidence to support the claim that the Office of Intelligence Support of the Department of the Treasury uses those little strips that say ‘USA’ that are embedded in all the newer bills to monitor everyone’s every movement.”

15

Well, see, there’s the problem. I work for Cecil, so we, um, well, we, uh, let’s just say that we couldn’t print half their denials with a straight face and still be eradicating ignorance. Especially the stuff about the seductress-assassins. I personally haven’t met one, of course, but during the editing process I’m sure that Ed would have to correct me if I said anything. He’s got photos on his walls of him with some of those chicks from when Cecil arranged for them to visit him back in the '70s.

So we gotta stick to their bland stuff.