As an example of how things change, I grew up in the 50’s in Atlanta. Back then there was not a professional sport team in the south. We did have minor league teams and ours was the Atlanta Crackers. Somewhere I have a program signed by all the players and my all-time favorite was “Country Brown”.
As to the term “Honkie”, back in the late 60’s or early 70’s when the term first got popular, we stayed in a Ramada Inn, in Nashville, TN. That weekend was homecoming for a black college there and the top floor where we stayed was filled with the people there for homecoming. I needed to go to the lobby and as I got onto the elevator, two couples got on with me. The two young men were very tall and they both used the word “Honkie” on the way down. The girls were trying to hush them. It did intimidate me, but I also realized that it was probably a little bit of “testing” accompanied by some “payback time”.
White people may not be able to be racist against themselves (to turn around that statement somewhat), but they can be prejudiced against other whites. Back when it wasn’t as bad to use the term nigger (I have never known it to be a completely acceptable term among my acquaintances) there was another term used almost as frequently and that was “white trash”. That term has almost entirely died out, but has been resurrected in the term “trailer trash”, which basically is the same thing, just not as openly identifying a racial group. There is also an example of a black comedian getting some heat because of routine where he made a difference between black and nigger. The problem came because whites picked up on it, which then made it a racial matter. You could claim that he was guilty of class prejudice, but not being a racist.
I generally don’t associate with people who bandy about racial slurs. But I originally come from the Southwest Side of Chicago, so it’s rather difficult to avoid words like nigger, Chink, Spic and Polack. I am of Polish decent myself, and personally I don’t find much offense in the word Polack, even though I’ve been told its supposedly offensive. Well, yeah, in the phrase “dumb Polack” sure, but otherwise, a heck of a whole lot of people just don’t seem to realize the word Pole is the correct term. So chalk I chalk it up to that. You can usually tell from context whether ill-will is involved or not.
Nigger. Well, there’s really not much defense in this word. Growing up, my friends had a distinction between the word “black” and “nigger,” which sounds just like the distinction made by Chris Rock (though I haven’t heard the skit.) Same as the distinction between “southerner” and “redneck,” or “white people” and “white trash.”
Of course, this is wrong. You’re linking a race and a characterization together, where a simple characterization would suffice.
I couldn’t say the word “nigger” until university. And it was in a joking manner when I worked as a delivery driver at a sandwich place which had a lot of blacks on staff. “Yo, cracker, wassup?!” “Not much, howyadoin, nigga?” It was all in jest, and nobody ever kicked the crap out of me for it.
Of course, I would never do it with strangers and I never drop the word in casual conversation with my friends. It’s all about context.