I was watching “Playmakers” on ESPN last night. The young running back was a major crackhead who had to take a drug test. So he went to a sleazy doctors who gave him diuretics to remove all urine from his system. He then injected “clean” urine (from the RB’s friend) into his bladder, with a catheter.
How realistic is this? Is it even possible, or would many things have to go right for this to work?
It’s possible, but as you guess, a fair number of things would have to go right.
Rather than using diuretics to induce the producion of urine, it would make more sense to stop production. Otherwise, the kidneys will continue making drug-laced urine during the time between the urine “swap” and delivering a sample for testing.
Also, the procedure has to be done carefully. Catheters are not difficult to insert, (If I can put a Foley cath in someone and not injure them, so can you.) but eveything’s got to be sterile, or the “patient” can wind up with a urinary tract infection. Other side-effects that may occur are (hopefully) minor bleeding, and the mother of all stinging sensations the next time you urinate.
A catheter does not need to be sterile to prevent a UTI. A “clean” method can be used, I’m not positive about what exactly the differences are between being clean and sterile. Maybe a medical professional can answer that.
I’m curious why you say “hopefully” there is minor bleeding. Can you explain why this would be a good thing?
I would imagine that “hopefully” modified “minor”. As in, hopefully the bleeding is minor and not major.
sigh
:rolleyes:
Back when I worked at a “drug rehabilitation facility” we did, in fact, catch one or two people either doing this or attempting to do it. Usually, the average desparate drug user being a little on the less-than-clear-thinking side of things, they screwed up and either hurt themselves or still failed to pass the pee-in-a-bottle test.
But, yes, IF you know what you are doing it is possible to do this successfully, without inducing either any bleeding at all or any form of urinary tract infection. For all I know, there are people who do this sort of thing as a twisted sexual practice, too. The world is a crazy place.
Doctors and nurses, since they have the skill and access to needed supplies, were folks we particularly had to keep an eye on. Also, folks with lower extremity paralysis and those with other urinary disorders that would give them experience with catheters and so forth.
But, needless to say I really really STRONGLY advise against this sort of thing!!!
Yes… If there is any bleeding, you hope it’s minor. Ideally, of course, there’s no bleeding at all. It’s more commonly a problem with Foley caths that have been in for a couple days - sometimes they seem to stick to the urethra, or there’s just enough of a rough spot on the end to nick the tissue. The newer silicone caths help avoid these problems.
As for clean vs. sterile: Agreed - the technique is clean, and not actually sterile. Most folks have a grasp on the concept of sterile, which is why I used the term here. Have a look in their fridge, and you’ll see they have no clue what “clean” can be. :eek:
The catheter itself, like a band-aid, is sterile in its packaging until opened, likewise the contents of a catheter kit.* Considering that the materials are supplied in a sterile state, and the person performing the procedure has hopefully washed their hands before opening the packages, we’re working pretty close to sterile.
*Typically, it’s all the supplies you’ll need: a pair of gloves, sterile lube, antiseptic wipes, a fenestrated drape, some chux (absorbent pads to catch what’s likely to come out of the catheter once it’s in) and a syringe of sterile water for inflating the baloon on a Foley.
Now… I’ll bet that’s more than anybody expected to learn about catheters here today! 
Truthfully, you don’t even need that many supplies.
I’d also like to suggest that perhaps we not go into any more details, because I’d rather not give any ideas to anyone who hasn’t already had them.
Just my opinion. YMMV
Having gone through the experience of having a catheter removed and then having it replaced, (due to my inability to urinate)quite painfully I can’t imagine that anyone could get a sexual kick out of inserting one. But people get off on Tubgirl and Goatse, so…
The question has been answered well enough for our purposes, so I’ll close this thread before anyone decides to give step-by-step instructions.
bibliophage
moderator GQ