“Our society is not perfect and does require people to do unnecessary things to be respectable in public. I know I cannot change these social norms in my life time, so it is best that I go along with them. I wish these social norms would change, but all I can do is post about it on an internet forum.”
So if the dumpy secretary dresses way below the standards of society and causes society to disrespect the law firm because of her, then the law firm should hire the pretty one. It is also impossible for two people to have the same personality, so it should be the secretary with the better personality who gets the job.
Hmmm. I’ve always tried to use friendliness as an attempt to smooth my way. And, sometimes that friendliness crosses over into flirtatiousness. Using my physical assets, though – that’s harder. You see, I’m a short, curvy girl and I tend to dress in a stereotypically sexy fashion as a matter of course because that’s the type of clothes that I like and feel look best on me. I have short legs, so tight pants and short skirts look better on me than baggy pants and long skirts. I’m busty with a short neck and a short waist, so fitted tops with scooped or v-necklines look better than boxy tops with high necks. And so on. So, if I was being friendly and bubbly in an attempt to make a good impression on some authority figure (a cop, or a boss, or a teacher) and just happen to be wearing tight Levis and a tank top while I’m doing it, does that mean I’m using my looks? Maybe, although I wouldn’t have thought of it that way – I honestly don’t consider that I’m especially good looking other than my figure, which was (IMO) my main beauty back in the day. People have told me (my husband, obviously, but others too) that I give off a sexy ‘vibe’ – I’ve always considered this to be a natural consequence of my outgoing personality, and my pocket-venus proportions. And, to be completely honest, I suppose I have used that when I felt it would help me…
It’s an interesting thing to think about. I have recently turned 44 and I’ve noticed that I’m making some adjustments to the personal style I’ve concocted over the years. I still wear tight jeans (jeans are jeans), and fitted tops, but don’t feel comfortable in the sexy young girl things that my daughter wears – I would never go out in public with my belly showing, at my age, and my skirts are several inches longer than they used to be. But I still try to look my best and be friendly and outgoing, so I guess I’m still trying to push my assets as best I can.
