Tried to say a whole lot in a thread title there. My question is:
Do you regularly encounter people dismissing your professional achievements by claiming they are solely, or in large part, due to your being an attractive woman?
Short reason to why I ask: Some woman claimed there was constant discrimination and harassment in her life because she is beautiful. 1) I doubt it’s that prevalent, and 2) many of her “examples” of harassment and discrimination seemed more like general misogyny than anti-beauty discrimination. I’m probably missing something, not being the goddess this woman is apparently, but I am curious.
Long-winded back story: There was an article in my school’s alumni magazine some months ago promoting a woman’s book and research on the beauty bias in the workplace. Nothing earth-shattering here: the physically attractive are favored over the less attractive, the thin over the overweight, the youth over the old. Whether or not this is fair or rational is a discussion entirely separate from the one I’d like to have (though I’m certain it will turn into that by post 6). Most of the article, to be honest and perhaps insensitive, seemed to have been written by a woman who was extremely bitter about being unattractive, chalked up many of her shortcomings to her looks, and went searching for discrimination in shadowy corners. At one point she calls judging people on their physical appearance is the “last bastion of socially and legally acceptable bigotry.” Please. In the magazine’s current issue, someone wrote in expressing my criticisms, mainly that she needs to exit Dodge immediately if she really believes her crap about the last bastion of pretty bigotry. Actual discrimination against ethnic minorities and gays is still alive and well, and that this woman is elevating her pet cause to a level higher than its worth.
There was another letter to the editor, which prompted this thread, written by a woman who wanted to confront the negative attitudes toward attractive people. Sure, I’d imagine beautiful women are often patronized with epithets such as “Barbie,” but is it really this never-ending source of discrimination and strife? She said “every one of [her] achievements” has been dismissed because she’s “cute.” Really? Even if that’s hyperbole, how common can it really be? Also, she claims, people are constantly assuming she’s flirted or seduced her way into success, and that her largest professional obstacle is “jealousy of female co-workers and supervisors” trying to keep her down.
I don’t know, these just all seem like the concerns of a delusional person with an over-blown ego. I say this because in the scant examples she gives (and yes, I understand why her examples are scant; no one is going to include footnotes in a letter to an editor) are silly. She’s been “harassed on the street,” men in bands assume she’s a groupie, she’s been told she should be a model. Yeah, no shit, lady. Every woman in anything resembling a city has been harassed on the street. Hell, in a Pit thread I was called names and told to grow a pair because I hate that shit. Every man who even vaguely can strum a guitar thinks every woman who talks to him is a groupie; that’s why they join bands. These people telling you to be a model: were they creepy guys trying to bone you and everything else on the planet? I’ve met those guys, too. Regarding female jealousy, hell I’ve been called a “Skinny Minnie” more than once by women at work. Do I think they’re jealous of me, or that it is my largest professional obstacle? No, I’m not even skinny. I think they’re just kind of half-poking at me (and other women as well) because we’re the few abstaining from ice cream while they indulge. It seems to me like what most of what normal people would call “life,” this woman calls “haaatred because I’m sexy!”
So yes, I think this woman is full of shit, but I really don’t want to discuss her. Despite what I perceive her flaws to be, she still brings up something that I’m curious about. I’d like to hear about real unfair treatment due to good looks. I know no one likes to come out and say “Everyone hates me because I’m beautiful!” but if you’re actually dismissed or treated poorly because of your looks, I’d honestly like to hear about it, and am not going to do anything stupid like reply to your post with “Cite?” And hell, maybe this woman is the real deal, and her letter just wasn’t very good.
So I’m pretty open with where I’d like this discussion to go, but here’s kind of what I’d like to focus on:[ul]
[li]The poll question. Please answer and discuss.[/li][li]Do you take comments about your looks with regard to your profession to be more about your beauty than they are about you being a woman?[/li][li]I do not want to talk about whether or not the beauty bias is fair.[/li][/ul]
My responses: I really wouldn’t know about it. The only things people have ever told me I have any advantage in is dating and making friends, and usually the emphasis seems to rely more on my being female. The consensus seems to be between females and males of equal levels of attractiveness, the female has an easier time finding dates and meeting people. Sure, I’ll agree to that. I’ve only once (that I can recall at the moment) had someone say any career success was because I am attractive, and that’s maybe because I’m not beautiful enough to instill instant jealousy or hatred. It was from my then boyfriend, of all people, who was looking for work at the same time I was. My search was more successful than his, and he commented that being an attractive young woman helped me, whereas he was just some dorky guy.
