Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m not talking about me. I’m not beautiful and you can hate me all you want. I’m talking about the pass so many people seem to give beautiful people. On 30 Rock Liz tried to convince John Hamm he lived in a beautiful-person bubble and things were harder for the plain and homely. She eventually succeeded, but he decided he preferred living in his bubble.

At work there is a beautiful woman, aged anywhere between 19 and 39, who recently got moved from the sales floor to be the receptionist. She is not entirely happy.

“My boys used to get me a bottle of water whenever I got thirsty, but now I don’t see them anymore, and now I’m thirsty,” she pouted. (Note: She’s even sweeter than she is pretty, with a sense of humor as dry as her mouth. She likes to play with the cliche I’m writing about, though I’ll admit that “her boys” are simply happy to do whatever she asks. She needs to take this work experience someplace that pays better and she can meet a better class of men than us telemarketers.)

I’m not immune to a woman’s charms, either. A local grocery chain has stopped using their preferred customer cards, and today a young lady was collecting them as I entered the store. She explained what was going on and, because I’m every bit the troll IRL that I am here and often say the first thing that enters my head, I said, “It doesn’t seem worth the trouble. I just won’t use it anymore.”

As I walked away I realized how rude I had been. I took the card off my keychain and gave it to her, saying, “I didn’t break a nail getting it off, after all.” If she hadn’t been Vegas showgirl tall (Tom Cruise would need to stand on TWO boxes) and stunningly beautiful (which I also mentioned, first thing in my head, and all) would I have done the same thing? Sure, but I wouldn’t remember it.

So, beautiful Dopers, as well as those who have nice personalities and good teeth (I have neither), can you think of examples of good looks giving people a free pass in life?

2

How would a person know if they’ve wearing a golden halo because of their looks or anything else? Unless a person undergoes a massive make-over and then does a before-and-after comparison of the life, they can’t know. Right?

3

Due to disease or accident a person can lose their good looks, either temporarily or permanently. At which point they will know.

4

During my college and post-college years, in my circle of friends there was one woman who was just freakishly beautiful. The other women in the group always complained that S. got stuff, and got away with stuff, that they never got. Or got away with. I didn’t notice that much, maybe 'cause I’m a guy. But when we were in college, she never got carded at bars. And she always got a few free drinks. And if she walked into a store, she could always get help right away. Me, I have to practically stand in the middle of the store and yell “I have money! I want to spend it!” before salespeople notice me.

I don’t think S. really ever exploited her looks, and nobody hated her. And in her professon, I don’t think looks help that much (she’s an academic).

5

In the Fall of 1974, I took a human skeleton class. I didn’t learn much, but I remembered the gorgeous blonde who taught it well enough that when, 31 years later, TV Guide had an article about a new show, Bones, with a photo of the star and the creator, I skipped from Emily Deschanel to Kathy Reichs, and said, “Hey, I know her!” A “Don’t I Know You?” email eventually led to a “Make Yourself Useful” email and my involvement with a number of international bestsellers. So don’t discount the importance of looks in academe. :wink:

6

Oh, and for the younguns, the title comes from this ad, which helped put Kelly LeBrock on the map. No hatred was intended or implied.

Too bad she’s gotten into that holographic medicine shit, because she really is beautiful. Be a lot prettier if she were smarter, though.

7

My beautiful wife never had to worry about speeding tickets. The police stopped her, but instead of writing a ticket, they usually wanted to give her a police escort home.

8

How would she know? If there is such a bubble, Tina Fey is the nucleus around which it formed.

9

She’s Hollywood Ugly. I mean, LOOK at her! She wears GLASSES! And she’s a brunette and over forty.

Saw a bit of a movie from the 50s and Myrna Loy was in it, as gorgeous as ever, but they had her in matronly clothes because she would’ve been about 50 and 50 was old back then. I pointed it out to my daughter as an example why people say that 50 is the new 30, and 70 is the new 50, but I don’t know anybody who is 70 and would dress that unstylishly.

10

I know, but I live in the real world. And I guess I have a thing for “Hollywood Ugly”.

11

Nah, I and some other 80 people are absolutely sure that the classmate who caused a TA to be Taken Aside For A Chat by another TA knew purrrrfectly well what she was doing when she played the “o I’m so weak and silly woe is me will you rescue me?” card while shoving her tits in his face.

Are there people who are gorgeous and seriously can’t see it? Sure, but for many it takes work.

12

I’ve actually been wanting to start a thread similar to this, just asking the gorgeous folk whether it gets old after a while.

Due to a series of events, I recently wound up escorting a very *very *attractive young lady thru a series of public places (shops, restaurants, offices). I was struck by the fact that every male head turned in every room we entered. Every guy on the sidewalk, every cashier, every driver going past on the road. She seemed either unaware, or to be ignoring it. I realized that for her, everywhere she went involved men noticing her arrival. None of them were really rude, but almost every man’s gaze lingered a little bit. I wanted to ask her if she got tired of it after awhile, but didn’t.

It could be that I’ve grown unaccustomed to this, since mizPullin and I are in our late 50’s (and would only draw attention if we fell down or something), and it was noticeable due to that. To be sure, I think the missus is still a hottie, but we can enter and leave a room without stopping the conversation.

13

Unfortunately I caught myself doing it just last night. I often get emails requesting technical help, and I was looking over my inbox and mentally checked off another one of these as another task thrown on the heap - but then I noticed the sender’s name was feminine (though a stranger to me) and I brightened up, in sort of an “ooh! a girl!” kind of way. I have no idea if the person is beautiful, only that she’s much likelier to be attractive than a man would be.

I don’t specifically want or mean to do this and don’t like that I do.

14

Perhaps men will look at beautiful women, but the women that most men feel comfortable approaching are the average-looking women. Average-looking women have far more many dates than beautiful women. Beautiful woman and homely women are asked out the least. Most men fear there would be too much competition with a beautiful woman, and most men would also be intimidated to approach a beautiful woman, (unless the man was intoxicated). Sorry guys, but this is the truth. There are exceptions, and these exceptions are: if the man is extremely good-looking, and/or if he is wealthy, and lastly if he got to know the beautiful woman first through a work environment or a similar situation. So listen guys if you ask out a beautiful woman, you will have less competition! I am a female, and if I were to ask out a member of the opposite sex, I would feel more comfortable asking out an average-looking guy, vs. asking out someone great-looking such as George Clooney.

15

I always wonder if really beautiful women KNOW that they are, and when they look in the mirror say to themselves something like “too good for mortal men” ( from The Terminator, if you didn’t know ).

16

As Trini sang, “never make a pretty woman your wife”. Still true.

17

I was certainly never a stunner, but between high school and college I got contact lenses, grew my hair out, and my face cleared up. Walking across campus one day, I spied a former band mate who had been outright hostile to my presence.

He did an honest-to-god triple take. And suddenly we were great old pals. I tried not to gloat.

18

I once asked my sister (not you with the face) if she would rather be beautiful or smart.

She didn’t even have to think about it. She said that if she couldn’t keep her good looks, she wouldn’t know what to do. Being ugly or even plain would be the end of her.

I think my sister is a fairly nice-looking person. But hot? I dunno. She does have a “hot” personality, though. Very friendly and cheerful. Always down for whatever. Flirtatious even when she’s not trying to be. Confident. Her personality is ten times more attractive than her looks. At least, IMHO.

Not that her looks couldn’t have helped her personality be the way it is. But I’m guessing she’d say her looks are more important to her success than I would say.

19

Of course they know. It is confirmed by how others behave around them.

I have two sisters. One is 10 years younger than me, and very conventionally pretty. The other is not quite a year younger and achingly beautiful. I resemble my mother in a very plain/average way, and they were blessed with the lion’s share of my father’s genetic material. I grew up thinking that I was hideously ugly; look back at pics now and realize that I was a really cute kid, not to be mistaken for beautiful, but certainly not anywhere close to ugly. It was just that EVERYONE would fawn over Julie’s beauty, including aunts and uncles, and there wouldn’t even be an awkward pause when it came to me :smiley: All were kind to me and clearly loved me, so they’re forgiven for being shitheads.

Julie knew that she was beautiful before we even entered grade school together. It was reflected in her unconscious acceptance of the feedback she got from the behaviors of people around us, and she learned very early to manipulate it to her advantage. As we grew up, we naturally became very competitive and resentful of each other. I hated how people – not just boys/men, but teachers, church members, Girl Scout leaders, other female peers – would fawn over and defer to her. Girls wanted to sit next to her at lunchtime. Boys would bring her cookies or run errands for her and fell all over themselves trying to get her attention. She accepted this as her due. When we grew into adulthood, she was completely inured to commanding “all eyes on deck” when she walked into a room. I felt not just invisible but hideous when comparing myself to her. And as unkind as she could be to me, I was a shithead to her as well. I took every opportunity to make her feel stupid, and like everyone around us, seriously underestimated her intellectual capacity and just assumed that I was in fact far smarter than her. She believed it too, reflected in the life choices that we made. I went off to college; she went to beauty school. We got close one summer when I stayed with her during summer break. And life knocked the arrogance right out of both of us anyway. Over the years I have come to realize that her beauty masked other fine attributes, such as her keen sense of humor, kindness, perception, and a very pragmatic intellect that surpasses my own. Given a scenario, I’m stuck with examining every angle, while she’s taken a snapshot assessment, made an inventory of choices, selected the best, and tweaked it to best outcome.

Our youngest sister is very pretty; not stunningly beautiful like Julie, but grew up enjoying many of the same advantages. Once, when I was in my late 30’s, we all got together, and youngest sister was late. When she arrived (with her then toddler and infant) she told us that she’d been running late, was speeding to make up lost time, and had been pulled over. She said that before the police officer made his way to the car, she unbuttoned her blouse and made ready with the “routine”. Only this time, the officer looked at her, glanced at her cleavage, looked at her kids, back at her, shook his head in disgust and wrote her TWO tickets: one for speeding, another for lacking a proper carseat for her son. Both sisters laughed, and Julie scolded her for trying the seduction routine with her kids in the backseat. She told her she should have went for “damsel in distress” instead: big, mournful eyes, a few tears for good measure, and a “my husband will be so upset.” I was floored by the whole exchange. To me, they may as well have been speaking a foreign language. It never would have occurred to me to even try to use my femininity in that way; I’d have just been extra courteous and cooperative and hope for the best (never worked). I hate men, just a little bit. And I love them too, because I’ve never been treated with that kind of "checkin’ big brain at the door’ deference. I ain’t beautiful. Men don’t lose their shit around me, and honestly… I think I got a better deal.

20

I’ve had the ‘life benefit’ of being up close and personal to two aspects of the ‘I’m gifted with something I had no say in.’ Beauty and money.

I was engaged to a gal with a Trust fund. It bent her in weird and strange ways to never have to worry about having too much month left at the end of her paycheck. I’d get the ‘you never pay for dinner’ thing when there was no possible way I could financially keep up with the number of times she wanted to eat out. Any time I’d bring up around other people that the bi-polar silver-spoon-ness of the situation really wasn’t all that fun, I’d get the usual “Yeah, but I’d sure like to give it a try” response that said I wasn’t getting any sympathy.

She honestly offered to buy me a new car if I proposed…and could write a check for it…without really bending that checking account.

When things went pear-shaped, I was presented with an itemized list that I had to pay off (including long distance phone charges) before she’d give me the ring back (an item she happily threw at me two times previously during fights.)

So…money ain’t all that and can’t buy happiness.

There are some Nieces on another branch of the family tree (didn’t inherit any of MY genes, that’s for sure)…and the take away I’ve found from being drop-dead gorgeous is: You cannot tell if you’re being treated nicely because the person is nice, or because they want to get in your pants.

I’ve seen the look of betrayal when they find a guy’s been outright lying to them about pretty serious stuff, mostly to get in bed with them.

I’ve also known other people that were a)gorgeous and b)seriously intelligent…the issue with that is that they were constantly presented with ‘your looks got you here’ rather than getting credit for their accomplishments.

So “I wish I were better lookin’” and “Hey, I wish I could win the lottery” sound good on the surface, but they also come with some other handicaps that are unexpected.

yeah, and I’m sure I’ll get flack for calling them handicaps, but whatever.