Interesting book on the subject.
I once read a thread on reddit about what it was like to be an extremely attractive man. Interesting perspective from the guys on the subject.
Yes, that is an interesting site. There are posts by men and women. The take is that there are cons to being attractive, usually because you don’t know if people are attracted to you because you’re a wonderful person or because you are just attractive.
When I loaded this thread something really bizarre happened. I saw the OP’s link as an Amazon link, but then it morphed before mine own eyes into a Walmart link. I tried in another browser and it did the same. It happens every time I refresh the page.
Is this happening for others? Curious whether it’s local to my computer or some other kind of black magic hath bewitched that link.
It happened to me, but on a different thread. I posted a link to a product with a link to amazon. When I clicked the link, it directed me to the product on ebay (despite me using a URL for amazon). Later on the link led to amazon again.
x4. Seems shady as fuck.
I saw the link change before my eyes. I’ve got an adlink blocker on, but that didn’t help.
I hadn’t noticed that before, both links go to the same book and quoting the OP gives you the original link.
I have observed what it is like in two friends, and I became convinced it was not something I would want. Attractive, yes. Extremely, notably beautiful? No thanks.
What did you see?
For those discussing the link-changing issue, you may find this ATMB thread useful or informative.
Yes, I revel in my security as an ugly mope, knowing that no one is attracted to me, but, by gum, it’s because of my personality, not my looks.
A variety of things, but the top of my head, being exceptionally beautiful/sexy/attractive is kinda like being famous: you have no anonymity. You are stared at as though you are either a freak or Angelina Jolie. And of course, most of the attention you are getting that is coming from men, even if it’s just their eyes, reeks of their very intense desire to touch you. Having been in proximity to it, though it was not directed at me, I found it perfectly awful. I would hate to go through life that way, I would feel tense, fearful, invaded…and yeah, that’s largely how my friends feel.
Neither of them make it a point to go through life being super-dolled - the attention comes anyway, even when they are in sweatpants and a T, no makeup, and glasses, because they are both exceptionally beautiful. One particularly so because she has a spectacularly sexy figure. Not porny giant tits or anything, just gorgeous ones, long waist, beautiful skin, etc. She would have to wear a burka to hide her all-over beauty and as a result she has eyes on her constantly when she is in public. Which I’m sure is why she has become almost a hermit at this point.
The other one is older now, still lovely but her age has dialed down the attention, and she never had the kind holyshit! body my other friend has, although it was and is very attractive. Her experience of being beautiful was strange for her because she was one of those women who really was not at all attractive growing up- super goofy looking, bad teeth, everything sort of off. And that’s how she saw herself and she grew up with that self-image and was shaped by that experience. But when she became a woman everything settled into place and she was just gorgeous. Also big: just shy of 6 feet tall, big teeth, smile, features, bones, hair…she was kind of an amazon goddess. But she didn’t really know how to handle it because it wasn’t how she understood herself, she didn’t get any practice dealing with it as she grew up, so it really made her dating life difficult.
Every single man she dated, including her first husband, was a raging asshole who was totally into her looks and ended up treating her like shit and cheating, for the most part.
But her true love story is the best…she was working for me briefly, man calls up to do business with me, it’s something she’s good at handling, she takes over. He’s located in New York, but he’s a Brit. They end up forming a friendship, they talk on the phone and email all the time (Late 90’s, 2000) and they really bond (they are both rather unusual people with unusual tastes and points of view, and they really mesh beautifully) over the course of about 6 months. During that time, they never exchange photos, they never even describe themselves to each other, and neither of them ever even ASKS. Swear to god. As far as either one of them was concerned, the other could have been a lizard skinned troll for all they knew.
Then he had to go back to England because his visa ran out. And he said he really wanted to come out here (Cali) and spend some time with her before he went. Because even though they hadn’t said it, they were in love, for all intents and purposes.
When he stepped off the place was the first sight either had of the other. And fortunately for her, he was adorable, fortunately for him, she was drop dead gorgeous.
They just celebrated 15 years together. I love that story because they really, truly fell in love with each others true selves before the matter of physical attractiveness ever came up.
My other friend has never dated a reasonably decent guy either, though no super happy ending yet.
My theory, from knowing the men they date, how the relationships go, etc. is that at a certain level of attractiveness good guys are too intimidated to approach exceptionally beautiful women; the only men who have the confidence to approach them are assholes with asshole confidence. Just my theory.
Also, from my observation directly and my observation of exceptionally beautiful famous women the kind of men extremely beautiful women end up with are as I said above, but in addition, they are also the kind of men who put a very high value on beauty, and there is a deadly downside to that: there is always someone more beautiful than you.
As a consequence, I’ve noticed that very beautiful women tend to be extremely insecure, and very often with very good reason. Since their beauty is frequently their most valuable asset in a relationship, they are kinda paranoid about other beautiful women, as well as being extremely concerned with maintaining their looks. And it is amazing how much very beautiful women are cheated on (Halle Berry anyone?) But that’s why!
My one true love relationship ended, but it wasn’t because he found someone else. And he never cheated on me, I know he never would have. I had absolutely no worries that some beautiful woman was going to come and take him away from me, because the very fact that he was with me was proof that he was not the sort of man who valued beauty all that highly.
My beautiful girlfriends could never feel like that, because it was never true! At least, not until the one who married her Brit who fell in love with her mind and heart.
Show me a beautiful girl (or guy) and I’ll show you a guy (or girl) sick and tired of putting up with her (or his) shit.
Seems easy enough to test; just be a complete asshole and see if anything changes.
Once I asked a Psammead to make me as Beautiful as the Day. It didn’t work out so good, as I remember.
Back in my single days, one of the women I dated was incredibly beautiful. Playboy beautiful. Drop-dead beautiful.
One day not long after I met her, I took her over to my apartment. I was living with another guy at the time, and not long after her and I got there, he comes in. He stood in the hallway for several minutes, just staring at her. He didn’t say a word, but finally he walked away. Later he told me he had never seen a girl so beautiful.
So now you understand just how attractive she was, I’ll tell you what she was like under that skin.
To this day I still call her the Ice Queen. On the outside she was Playmate of the decade. On the inside she was as cold as ice. On the outside she dressed incredibly stylish. On the inside she was bland and plaid.
I have to confess that for a short time she was eye-candy. She looked quite nice walking beside me. But it didn’t take long to realize that there were plenty of girls out there that could knock the socks off this girl with just their personalities.
One night at a party, actually a New Years Eve party, her and I were wandering around talking to people, and I asked her if she was ready to go home. She said yes, so I dropped her off and then I went back to the party, and found some "real women". And I never went back to drop-dead gorgeous girls. Or Ice Queens.
She knew she was good-looking, but I have no idea what she expected from me, or the next guy, or the guy after him.
One more thing. I recall that she talked about herself lots.
Does anyone (besides me) remember this article by Samantha Brick? It made a huge splash at the time. And did she ever get a lot of hate for it.
I couldn’t answer the question about what it’s like to be a really beautiful woman first hand. But we’ve all seen what can happen when a woman of exceptional beauty begins to lose that beauty. When as I said,
And that includes Samantha Brick. ‘I’m terrified of losing my looks’