UT pitcher leaves indelible mark on game

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Boy!

Mkay… Boy freakin’ howdy!

Ain’t never had to deal with that scenario before. Anybody else watch the Big 12 baseball tournament today? University of Texas vs Oklahoma State?

So… how did you deal with the UT relief pitcher jogging out on the field with a supersaturated brown spot proximal to his… err… bunghole?

The dude shit his shorts. Then he trotted, apparently for the second time of the day, out on to the mound. The cameraman panned for about 2 minutes using his usual shot perspective and then, abruptly, would only view the guy from belt up.

I hollered to my wife and said “Hey, you’re not going to believe this.” She took one look and said “What the hell… did he throw a pitch too hard?”

Okay, I’ve slid into more than a few bases. I’ve been banged by this and that and am open to the suggestion of bizarre injuries but never and I mean never in my life have I sustained a small, round, fudge cookie like stain directly proximal to my poop chute on an athletic uniform.

I wish I could provide a link… wait… no I don’t.

Interestingly, his team, with a full and agonizing view of his unfortunate anal dot, gave up I think about 6 or 8 runs in the 6th (?). By runs, I of course mean something akin to a point.

2

It used to be that UT pitchers – like, for instance, Roger Clemens – used to make the batters shit their pants.

3

That’s not changed. Actually, the games were running concurrently and I was jumping back and forth between the two but, unfortunately, only one of them had a no shitter going.

4

If he was a pitcher shouldn’t he have had a pinch shitter?

5

I didn’t watch the game, but…

isn’t it theoretically possible that it was a tobacco juice stain that he picked up from sliding or sitting on the ground where someone had left a brown loogie? Or that he was the victim of a practical joke played on him by his teammates? (Because the alternative is too painful to contemplate…)

6

So, I’m the only one who read the headline and thought “What the hell to pitchers have to do with Unreal Tournament”?

Guess so. :o

7

I hope the pitcher wasn’t applying to the ball any “foreign substances” … especially ones from his anal region.

Definitely would NOT want to be the UT catcher.