Me, too. I’m stealing that joke immediately!
Someone didn’t go to UU youth camp. There is a REASON UUs get sexuality education starting in second grade.
Funny! This is my favorite:
Three Unitarians just died and are at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter tells them that they can enter heaven if they can answer one simple question.
St. Peter asks the first Unitarian, “WHAT IS EASTER?”
The first Unitarian replies, “Oh, that’s easy, it’s the holiday in November when everybody gets together, eats turkey, and is thankful…”
“WRONG,” replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second Unitarian the same question, “WHAT IS EASTER?”
The second Unitarian replies, “No, Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Santa Claus.”
St. Peter looks at the second Unitarian, shakes his head in disgust, goes to the third Unitarian and asks, “WHAT IS EASTER?”
The third Unitarian smiles and looks St. Pete in the eye.
“I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and the disciples were eating at the Last Supper, and He was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by Judas, one of the disciples. The Romans took Him to Pontius Pilate, made Him wear a crown of thorns, and He was hung on a cross. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder. Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out, and if He sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter.”
This little UU girl is sitting in front of her house looking sad. The nice old lady next door asks her “What’s wrong?” The girl says “My kitty cat died.”
The neighbour, a good Christian, says to the little girl, “I know you’re sad, but now your kitty cat is with Jesus.”
The little girl thinks for a while and asks “What would Jesus want with a dead cat?”
Jesus said to them, “Who do you say that I am?” The Unitarian Universalist Christian replied “You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma of which we find the ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships.” And Jesus said “What?”
Lots more of them here.
The UU minister was whipping the congregation into a revivalist frenzy.
“Do you believe in God?”
“Yes! we believe in God!”
“Do you believe in Jesus Christ?”
“ummm.”
“Close enough!”
The classic UU joke: You know how UUs start their prayers?
To whom it may concern.
Ha! Shows what you know. Crossing a UU with a Jehovah’s Witness gets you someone who knocks on your door and isn’t sure why.
This is a vaguely rememberd joke from Barney Miller. I think it went like this:
Det Dietrich speaking to someone who has just suffered a tragedy:Would you like me to call a priest?
Guy with tragedy: I’m a Unitarian.
Det Dietrich: Would you like me to call a math teacher?
I haven’t seen the show in over 20 years so I could be wrong.
ROTFLMAO …
I know a UU minister and she would be rolling around laughing as well=)
A confused nine-year-old boy goes up to his mother and asks, “Is God male or female?”
After thinking a moment, his mother responds, “Well, God is both male and female.”
This confuses the little boy so he asks, “Is God black or white?”
“Well, God is both black and white.”
This further confuses the boy, so he asks, “Is God gay or straight?”
At this the mother is concerned, but answers anyway, “God is both gay and straight.”
At this, the boy’s eyes light up with understanding and he triumphantly asks,
“Is God Michael Jackson?”
I enjoy referring to UU as “The Church of Secular Humanism.” 