Why are UU’s such bad singers?
Because they are always reading ahead in the hymnals to see if they agree with the lyrics.
How do you run a UU family out of town?
You leave a burning question mark on their lawn.
What in tarnation is a UU ??? 
You laugh, but years ago I attended a UU church on a semi-regular basis. At one point, they got new politically correct hymnals. They were freakin’ hilarious.
The holy trinity had become the Parent Figure, the Offspring, and the Holy Noncorporeal Entity. It wreaked havoc with the metre of the songs.
Probably Unitarian Universalism.
Let us pray:
Our Father, Mother, or spirit,
hallowed be your name no matter what ethnicity it is derived from,
your residence come,
your will be done after careful review,
on earth as in the rest of the universe.
Give us today our daily starch, vegetables, and protein.
Forgive us our deeds deemed less ideal in some cultures
as we forgive those who challenge our own cultural norms
Save us from the time of trial
and deliver us from negative vibes
[For the worldly estate, the influence, and the glory are yours
now and for the life of the universe. Amen/Awomen]There was Adlai Stevenson’s attempt at a joke- that as a UU, he found St. Paul appealling and St. Peale appalling.
Which is truly odd, considering UU views on theology & human potential.
Utah Phillips said he had a gig to sing for the Unitarians. He had to change his setlist, to sing Goin’ Down The Road Feelin’ Perturbed.
Sign at UU Church:
Bible Study at 19.00
Bring your own Bible and correction fluid.
Thank you!! I thought this was some kind of University joke. I probably wouldn’t have gotten that, either ! 
I love UU hymnals. They have “traditional” songs with traditional lyrics and some just downright funny ‘let’s not offend any atheists in the congregation while simultanously trying to recognize our Jewish/Christian roots’ songs.
Q: What do you get when you cross a UU with a Jehovah’s Witness?
A: Someone who knocks on your door for no reason.
“Gods Rest Ye, Unitarians” (UU Version)
*Gods rest ye, Unitarians, let nothing you dismay; Remember there’s no evidence there was a Christmas Day; When Christ was born is just not known, no matter what they say, O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact, Glad tidings of reason and fact.
Our current Christmas Customs come from Persia and from Greece, From solstice celebrations of the ancient Middle East. This whole darn Christmas spiel is just another pagan feast, O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact, Glad tidings of reason and fact.
There was no star of Bethlehem, there was no angels’ song; There could not have been wise men for the trip would take too long. The stories in the Bible are historically wrong, O, Tidings of reason and fact, reason and fact, Glad tidings of reason and fact!*
Why do so many UU churches have a weathervane on the steeple instead of a cross?
A cross doesn’t point you in any direction.
How many UUs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. UUs don’t screw in light bulbs–they screw in sleeping bags
Clearly, I need to try some other UU churches than the one I’ve been attending. :eek: 
Have you heard the latest UU miracle?
Someone saw the face of Ralph Waldo Emerson on a tortilla.
How many Unitarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
300
12 to sit on the Board which appoints the Nominating and Personnel Committee.
5 to sit on the the Nominating and Personnel Committee which appoints the House Committtee.
8 to sit on the House Committtee which appoints the Light Bulb changing committee.
4 to sit on the Light Bulb Changing Committee which chooses who will screw in the Light Bulb.
Those four then give their own opinion of “screwing in methods” while the one actually does the installation.
After completion it takes 100 individuals to complain about the method of installation, another 177 to debate the ecological impact of using the light bulb at all, and at least one to insist that back in the day, the lit chalice was quite enough, thankyouverymuch!
Dear God,
If there is a God.
In Heaven,
If there is a Heaven.
Save my soul,
If I have a soul.
I think that the enormous degree in which I see the humor in this remark is disturbing…
I never knew UUs were so funny! Thanks, everyone! 