V8 - The V is for Fucking Vile (gross)

  • CLAMATO!* the drink that tastes like pussy!

(Not mine, stolen from National Lampoon ca. 1977.)

Friends, let us each be true to our own beverage perversions. Let the V-8 cold camps be in alliance with the warms. Let those who decry Mr. Pibb as inferior to the original doctor lie down with the lamb, or at least try Dr. Smooth. Let the dreaded Diet Dew/Regular Dew jihad come to an end.
FWIW, V-8 is an ingredient in a Bloody Mary to me. Tried it straight and it’s just not all there. However, I will share a recipe for the spiciest Bloody Mary known to man.

False_God’s Screamin’ Sphincters

In a 12 oz. glass, combine

Spicy V-8 or Spicy Mr and Mrs. T Bloody Mary Mix (8oz.)
Absolut Peppar Vodka (4 oz or to taste)
fresh horseradish
fresh ground black pepper
Worcestershire sauce
Melinda’s Habanero sauce (or Insanity)

Garnish with either a celery spear (for the wussy) or a pickled green bean. No more than three, or you’re in for a hot time when the digested product hits your barking starfish the next day.

Bah! I spit on your pseudobeverage! Ptooie! I defy you to drink your V8 with Dave’s Insanity Sauce, for then will you burn with its righteous fury, and perhaps return to the true path.

What the hell is a pickled green bean? (and no, it’s not me after having too many bloody marys)

A pickled green bean is a green bean that has been pickled, yet is still crunchy. Very good for a drink stirrer or as part of a relish plate.