So I was feeling thirsty… and I remembered the six-pack of V8 my mom had bought me a couple of weeks ago.
Cool, I think. V8 Splash is pretty tasty, I’ve got no reason to fear its less watery cousin. So I pop the top on one and take a swig.
Imagine what would happen if you stuck a carrot and a tomato in a blender and let it rot in the sun for a week. This was worse! Every organ in my body immediately went into rejection mode - except my brain, which kept screaming “Don’t spew! Don’t spew! DON’T FUCKING SPEW!” I manage to keep from spitting the devil’s brew all over my computer - and a good thing, too, because I’m sure the unholy mix would have melted my monitor.
But there’s no place to spit it out. No sink. No cup. No wastebasket. So I take a deep breath and - - - - - swallow it.
When I was a kid and had a cold, I once snorted a snot brick into the back of my throat. The only way I could have gotten it out of my throat was to swallow it. It was probably the most horrible feeling I’ll ever experience outside of an S&M scat party. I spent the next five minutes desperately trying to stave off the constant waves of nausea. This wasn’t worse, but it’s the only thing I’ve ever swallowed that’s so accurately duplicated that sensation.
And I swallowed it.
I’m now washing out my mouth with every single non-V8 liquid in my room.
My lower intestine senses danger. The only possible explanation: my mom is trying to kill me.
I like to jazz it up a little with a dash of Worcestershire sauce, ground pepper, celery salt, and a little squirt of fresh lemon juice. If you stick in a rib of celery it’s kinda like a Bloody Mary, without the alcohol, also known as a Virgin Mary, also known as a Bloody Shame.
I can’t stand V-8 cold. I’ve always thought, however, that it would make a pretty good tomato-veggie soup if you heated it. Haven’t tried it yet, though.
I disagree. I love the taste, texture, and overall feel of the stuff, straight or no. I will go on to say that I have, on occasion, downed over a liter of V8 in a single day. It is a greatly adored beverage of mine, probably ranking just under Josta (may it rest in peace), Mr. Pibb, and Code Red (and, well, boozey drinks).
I do agree, however, about drinking it cold: Don’t do it.
V-8 is just about my favorite drink, especially “Spicy Hot V-8”. Unfortunately, my stomach can’t stomach the spicy stuff, although I dearly love it. I like it cold, I like it hot, I like it bold, I hate it not. I will drink it in car; I will drink it in a bar. If you don’t like V-8 drink, To each his own (I have to think).
Yes, I’m a lousy poet! But the stuff is frigging delicious. I have to completely disagree with the OP.
Begone from my sight, Eris. Dr. Pepper is great and all (although it also ranks just below its generic brand cousin, Dr. Skipper), but Mr. Pibb is half of the vital ingredients towards making the wondrous drink Pibbsprite (I’ll give you ten SPOOFE points if you can guess what the other ingredient is).
