Valedictorian Speech

I’ve finally decided to actually sit down and figure how to collect all my thoughts I’ve had into a valedictorian speech that actually matters and actually makes a point, rather than the frivolous throw-aways I’ve always seen. I wrote it in just the regular way I talk except for little pasted excerpts. Tell me what you think, Dopers.

Thanks to those who read it, any feedback or discussion is welcome.

If you really attend San Dimas High School, you must end your speech with “SAN DIMAS HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL RULZ!” In fact that could be your entire speech.
Now for what you said. CHEER UP! Man that was a downer. Of course, I can’t remember a single sentence from any of the commencement speakers I’ve had to listen to over my many years, so maybe you’re making too big a deal over this.

First, is this speech going to be at the beginning or end of the ceremony? (I know salutatorian is supposed to be at the beginning and valedictorian at the end, but my high school did/does it backwards, so YMMV). That should make a difference in tone.

I think Zebra has it right, though. Cheer up. It’s great that you’re making a point, and I like the point you’re making, but I think it’s possible to make it in an upbeat way, rather than the fatalistic tone you’re using. When I gave my graduation speech, I could have been really cynical about it, and under the circumstances (two people in our close-knit, 40-person class not being allowed to walk on a technicality, and a GPA calculation snafu leading to an… unexpected valedictorian/salutatorian lineup), no one would have been surprised, but I didn’t. I made my points, but I kept it upbeat, and I’m glad I did. In the end, a graduation ceremony is supposed to be a happy event, and you should try to contribute to that.

[ETA: That first paragraph is pretty cliché. If that’s what you’re going for, that’s just fine, but be aware of it.]

Also, a person is a valedictorian, but a speech is valedictory.

-drewtwo99, former co-valedictorian (there were 9 of us I think)

You pretty much have one positive line in the entire speech. Are you concerned that if you don’t point it out on graduation day your fellow students will not be aware that there are potential pitfalls ahead?
Graduation is a celebration - of the completion of one life phase and of the opportunities in the next, so yeah cheer up :slight_smile:

I like the general idea (of course, I’m also in the midst of an unmedicated depression, with 40 looming just around the bend and I have been in much this mindset for a while now), but I also agree that a liiiiiiiiitle more hope and cheer would be appropriate for the occasion.

How about putting in some ideas for HOW they can " show other people the appreciation they deserve," and “reach out and truly connect with the ones you love,”? Some recognition of how they’ve done that in these last four years?

As it stands, you’ve pointed out that the light at the end of the tunnel is, in fact, an unstoppable train. Great. And…?

I was thinking the same thing.