Valentine's Day for Singles

In My Humble Opinion
1

Things to do today if you don’t have a SO

1.Watch a violent movie.
2. Watch a horror movie
3. Watch a violent horror movie(ie. Evil Dead series)
4. Watch one of those old Film Noirs where the beatiful woman gets (or nearly gets) the detective killed(for men).
5. Warch a movie where the women get along fine without men (for women).
6. Watch a sappy movie, but turn it off when the major break up
happens - before they get back together.
7. Buy a gun, buy some ammo, clean the gun, go to the shooting range and blast away about $50.(Please ignore if you are a criminal, under 18 or insane)(of course, this’ll be the one that gets me banned).
7. Go to open mike night somewhere and read bitter poetry.
8. Go to Karoke night and sing “Love Stinks!”.
9. Play one of the Grand Theft Auto or Soldier of Fortune games.
10. Take pictures of your Ex and use them to create a bonfire.
11. Take a photo of your ex and use it as a target for darts or bullets.
12.Have a party with single friends and make fun of all the poor fools who are having to spend money on flowers, candy, and diamonds.

Feel free to ad some.

2

er, crap. I meant. “Feel free to add any ideas that seem appropriate”

3

Sit at home and masturbate to internet porn?

4

No, no, no. Try this. I found three different young ladies that had no valentine for Valentines day. I gave each a friendly card and a single rose. Grand total $12.50. Value: betcha I gat laid before St. Patricks day.

5

Go hang out in a bookstore with your very old and good friend, who was also your senior prom date way back when, and listen to cool music on headphones and watch the teeny-boppers necking in the U.S. History section.

Ah, what I would have given for somewhere to hang out in high school that was open past 8 p.m…

6

The entire local fire department just pulled up out front! That was exciting! - Car fire down the street. I guess that “high alert” is paying off.

Ok, now back to the porn.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

7

I like the porn idea, but how is that different from any other day?

[sub]What? Don’t look at me like that.[/sub]

8

I was completely at a loss as to what to do so I ended up doing nothing. I didn’t even have a “high alert,” my states still blue.

However the “Walking slowly and determinedly into the ocean” idea from The Onion does have some appeal. Oh well, too late now.

9

I got a last-minute date for last night and had to run out and pick up a little heart-shaped box of candy. Great fun in Walgreen’s looking at all the befuddled men staring at the cards and candy, trying to figure out what with hours to go they could choose that wasn’t going to get them killed.