Valentine's Day guy poems

Since it’s fast approaching, let’s have some Valentine’s Day guy poems. Either the kind of poems one might give to a guy or receive from a guy.
Here are my two contributions, with inspiration from Clerks on the first verse:
My love for you is like a truck
It’s as strong as a really big buck
It flies as high as a hunting season duck
I really like it when we fuck

Once I heard you were a slut
So I went to you to bust a nut
I stumbled upon more than good smut
So it’s with you I’ll build my hut

If my love were a football it’s something I’d punt…

Dear MichaelEmouse,

I love you with a love
That transcends propriety,
Which I why I’m sending your thread
to Cafe Society.

Love,
Ellen Cherry