Last night as I was coming home I found a “goth” taking her sweet time walking across the street. When the light turned green and I was still being held up, I honked my horn at her.
She snaps her head around at me and I see her face.
Grey pallor, cat-like eyes with slit pupils, and fangs.
I immediately grab a pair of screwdrivers from the back seat and hold them up like a cross…a makeshift crucifix…to ward of the beast from attacking me.
And she…just drops to her knees, sobbing like a little girl.
Another guy vampire yells at me from across the street calling me a fuckin’ nazi.
The must’ve wrote down my liscence plate number and traced my adress, because I received phone calls from both the ACLU and NAAUP
(National Association for the advancement of Undead People):eek:
So, Apparently, shoving a cross in the face of a vampire is now equivalent to shoving a swastika in the face of someone jewish.
Do YOU think I committed “Hate Speech”?
Assuming that there were such things as vampires and crosses worked on them* it would be assault, not hate speech. Like spraying a human with pepper spray.
*I recall a short story where a Soviet bureaucrat discovers vampires and whips out a cross against them. A vampire takes the cross from him and shakes his head sadly; “Comrade, Comrade! And I thought you would be a good Communist to the end!”
"Everything you think you know about us are just stories made up in a little town on the West Coast called Hollywood. They make lies that make movies that make millions.
WE DO NOT SUCK BLOOD. We are insectivores.
We are not transformed humans. We are a completely unrelated species which happened to possess a similar anatoform.
We do not burn up in the sunlight. We are merely nocturnal.
We have no supernatural powers. Nor does sunlight, Holy Water, silver, or crosses harm us…we react as we do because we are under siege…
…wouldn’t you?"
I guess I…and all of us…need a little attitude adjustment.
I hate going out to eat with an insectavore. We had one at my last office. Office parties were shit to organize.
“Oh, we can’t go there, there’s nothing for me to eat on the menu!”
Preachy bastards always trying to hold some sort of ethical discussion about what I brought for lunch. And mostly they’re fucking hypocrites, eating insects only but having no problem sleeping on down comforters.
