We do this from time to time here. Take the lyrics to a song and make them as verbose as possible. I’ll start.
Relieve yourself of your burdens, Stephanie
There’s no charge for relief
Relieve yourself of your burdens, Stephanie
Instead give your burdens directly to me
Commenced my existence in the lower 48 states of continental north america
Postnatal in the country with the most Super Bowl wins.
Entered life with the lowest life expectancy in the Western world
Began my freedom in the country with the highest incarceration rate
She holds you in the highest esteem, affirmative, affirmative, affirmative
She holds you in the highest esteem, affirmative, affirmative, affirmative
When it happens that you are held in such high esteem
Your expected reaction ought to be a very pleasant level of satisfaction
Inordinately cruel condiment made from the seeds of the Sinalpis alba plant slumbers in a zone designated for public recreation
Removes whiskers from face with a razor sans illumination in an attempt to conserve material manufactured in thin sheets from the pulp of wood or other fibrous substances
It occurred to me after the fact that “mean” in this context actually refers to penny-pinching tendencies rather than temperament.
Still, I kind of like the phrase “inordinately cruel condiment”. Maybe I’ll use it if I ever have to come up with another handle on some other message board.
Born in the USA (repeat x3)
She Loves You (Yeah Yeah Yeah) (repeat x2)
Perched on a breakfast cereal
Abiding for the sports utility vehicle to make the scene
Syndicate monogrammed turtleneck
Moronic ensanguined Martian holiday
Dude, you have been a recalcitrant tyke
You acquiesced to your countenance stretching vertically
I am the Oocyte Bloke
They are the Ovum Brothers
I am the Fat Pinniped
Dove utterance
Dove utterance
Giant Disney snake
Second half of a sneeze
Next up for the next willing pinniped: MacArthur Park.
Enters REM whilst nestled within an excavation, the location of which is found in some sort of thoroughfare likely designed to facilitate motorcar peregrination.
The four-star general’s palisade is umbrally discorporating:
Lo, how the glucal marzipan undulates earthward!
A person or persons unknown abandoned the gateau to the precipitation
And my own rationality is highly compromised
For its generational process was prohibitively extenuated
Additionally, I no longer am in possession of that particular prescription.
Alas, Alack!
Next: Born To Be Wild
I Am The Walrus
I cannot attain any primal sexual release
I cannot attain any ritualized female attention for myself
And I exert myself and I exert myself and I exert ex-ex-exert myself
I cannot achieve any, I cannot achieve myself any
During the times I regard my electronic window on the world
And a gentleman appears and informs me
How bleached my upper body covering can become
But he cannot be a gentleman
Because he does not inhale
The same noxious fumes from a stick of dried poisonous leaves as I do
submission as per request
Make your eight-cylinder piston arranged in a V configuration with common crankshaft horsepower producer with chrome plated grease nipples and double reverse overhead twin cam door handles operational.
Embark upon the Dwight D. Eisenhower National System of Interstate and Defense network
Rubbernecking for expeditionary shits and giggles
Regardless, how sad, never mind, materialises heiligenschein*
**Which has bugger all to do with the lyrics, context or meaning but it’s the dictionary.com word of the day and it’s fuckin’ brilliant innit.*
I Can’t Get No Satisfaction
You’re right, it is brilliant. And shiny.
At sunrise you’re off to punish the guy who drained your cistern
And you find him and inflict fatal injury, but you can’t escape as you attempt to flee the country
So then crowds gather to pay respect to the deceased while cheering your incarceration
But a pardon from the governor saves you from a death sentence, and you’re released