"Very Special Episodes" *you'd* wish they made.

In this thread, people have been voicing their opinions on the “Very Special Episodes” that invariably crop up in TV sitcoms.

It was noted that while a few series manage to pull off such episodes pretty well, most of them end up producing episodes that are “glurge” at best, and heavy-handed propaganda at worst.

Now, that said, I’d like to ask some of my fellow Dopers who have less than “mainstream” tastes or senses of levity…what are some “very special episodes” that YOU’D like to see, if only for novelty, but that would or could NEVER be produced? Y’know, what would be the “very special episodes” in an evil parallel universe™?

A specific series isn’t necessary, just the plot/message of the episode.

To start with, my suggestions…

•A character loses their faith in god, permanently. And remains faithless by the end of the episode.

•Someone takes the law into their own hands, leaving the world a safer and more just place, and goes unpunished.

•A hated senior officer is fragged.

•A hopelessly tragic “love triangle” is resolved by the formation of a “threesome” relationship, to the satisfaction—if not delight—of all.

•Someone learns how it is always wrong to compromise your ideals, even if all of contemporary society disagrees with you.

•A non-caucasian admits to being a bigot.

•Casual sex between good friends is shown in a positive light.

•“Mutually Assured Destruction” is shown as a valid, even beneficial, world policy.

•The plucky yet insecure junior high school girl who’s the center of a show decides that, instead of striving for popularity, she’d rather become a hard core geek. The local nerd community accepts her with open arms and understanding.
Anyone else…?

A curmudgeon does not learn the true meaning of christmas.

The gay guy meets and ends up with a non-pre-existing boyfriend.

Huh? Unless I live in an evil-parallel universe, just about all your ideas have been done, and the rest are unworkable

Didn’t Edith do this on “All in the Family”?

Yeesh. Aren’t these a bit too heavy for sitcoms. I think these might have happened on cop dramas before.

I think I might have seen this on “Undressed”.

Please! Don’t they always promote this “the individual is always right about everything” crap on American television?

Er…do you watch any TV with non-caucasians? Somebody’s always a bigot. Off the top of my head, “The Hugleys”, when the father found out his daughter’s friend and their nieghbor were gay. By the end, he learned a very valuable lesson.

There’s this awsome underground hit on NBC called “Friends” that you should check out.

And they work this into a sitcom how?

…where’s the conflict? Why on Earth would anyone want to watch that?

Bobby learns not to open the door for strangers after he invites in a door-to-door salesman who turns out to be the Zodiac Killer. Following the brutal slaughter of Greg, Marcia, Peter, Cindy and Alice, Bobby tearfully tells the remaining members of his family that he’s learned a valuable lesson.

Cue ‘sad Brady theme’ and fade-out as the family hugs, with Mike trying to catch a glance down Jan’s top (or Bobby’s, depending on which rumors your believe).

pizzabrat, remind me to put the actual phrase “this is a joke, I’m ‘funning’” in all future threads I post about media cliches. :rolleyes: ;D

Someone smokes pot occasionaly, likes it, does not lose job, or move on to hard drugs.

A gay male character is introduced who drinks Bud, watches sports, dresses like a slob. (a VSE for “Will and Grace?”)

A VS Law and Order (I know its not a sit-com) where the wealthy white guy is innocent, and the real killers are the teenagers the cops picked up in the first act.

Oh. I thought it was serious. It’s just that the list didn’t seem “jokey”, it seemed serious like “I’m tired of PCTV and I wish they had the guts to show real stuff like this!”

I’d watch that, but it would have to be after the “Marcia’s life as a crack whore” episode. Wouldn’t Bobby look cute dressed in a purple pimp outfit?

I always wanted a VSE of MASH where Hawkeye, Trapper, BJ, Frank, Charles, Radar, Klinger, Col. Potter, and Margaret are all brutally sodomized to death by specially trained Rottweilers. Cue slow, sad, version of “Suicide is Painless” played on a flute. Roll credits. A fitting final episode to a shrill, preachy show.

How about the Very Special Episode of Friends where Rachel, Monica & Phoebe discover the world of bondage and S&M. Hilarity abounds when Phoebe loses the keys to the handcuffs and can’t get Monica loose in time for Chandler’s return. Rachel in the mean time, wearing a leather cheerleader outfit, starts to…
Okay, I have a problem, but I’m working on it…really!

A Very Special Episode of “Melrose Place” in which all the characters are attending a “sex party” at Amanda’s apartment when a utility worker on the street outside hits a gas line and a tragic explosion destroys the apartment complex.

(My sister/roommate has discovered the re-runs of this show and keeping track of who is sleeping with who is making my brain bleed.)

The safety word is “banana”. (Family Guy reference)

A VSE episode of The Simpsons where Milhouse reveals he is gay and has feelings for Bart.

With a sub-plot where Homer chaparones a school field trip to the NASA launch facility at Cape Canaveral. He accidentally launches a Space Shuttle with Lisa and Ralph Wiggims onboard.

Sadly, no lessons are learned … :frowning:

An episode of Star Trek where, at the end of the episode, all is not exactly as it was at the start of the episode.

Please!

how about a VSE of Saved by the Bell where there is a school shooting? (sorry, I saw a rerun the other day and it reminded me how I hated that show.)

VSE of “Friends”:

The NYC rent-controls are discovered to contain an obscure provision that forces the entire cast to leave Manhattan and move to Jersey, Staten Island, Queens, or any of the (in my deranged mind) more interesting parts of NYC.

A VSE of the Brady Bunch, where Mike and Carol sit down with their respective children and explain that yes, they aren’t related to their stepsiblings by blood, but brothers and sisters still aren’t supposed to do that. Greg and Marcia run away together and find a liberal judge willing to annul their legal status as siblings, and they get married on Marcia’s eighteenth birthday.

Columbo has an open and shut case and then spends the rest of the show getting his laundry done and buying a new coat.

In a 2 hour special, the Friends are all brutally murdered by an axe wielding maniac.

Murder-she-wrote-lady spends a sad Christmas alone. Its so odd - its as if all her friends and family have invented spurious excuses as to why she cant visit them. Anyone would think they were scared of her coming to stay, as if it would inevitably be accompagnied by tragedy.

Isn’t this the plot of Buffy, the vampire slayer?