Very stupid overheard conversations

You win the thread. That’s brilliant!

Yeah, definitely the smoke. But what kind of idiot burns their popcorn? The idiots I work with. Microwave popcorn is like the easiest thing there is. Unless you are a moron and walk away from it.

Eons ago, a coworker accidentally hit the 3 minute button instead of the 30 second button, and his poptart set off the building smoke alarm. The stink, tho, came when he realized what happened and he pulled it out, realized it was HOT, and dropped it on the crappy nylon carpet, where it immediately melted the fabric in the most odoriferous manner possible. TPTB were hugely pissed because no one evacuated the building, despite the alarms.

Fortunately, the pans of vinegar we left out overnight took care of the stink. Unfortunately (for this thread) I didn’t overhear any stupid conversations associated with the incident. [/end hijack]

I hereby deem any “Pop-Tart melting the carpet” story worthy of inclusion in any thread. That is classic…

Pop Tarts are highly flammable. There used be be a website that had videos of toasters with the controls buggered to never turn off and Pop Tarts were the favorite fuel. They damn near explode. And all Jason Bourne could come with was a rolled up magazine.

And to hopefully complete this derail, an old Dave Barry column on the topic…Untitled Document

More off topic >

I used to work for a company that supplied catering equipment and we launched a brand new microwave oven for caterers at an exhibition.

When we were breaking the stand down a couple of guys from another stand came over with some meat pies that they had liberated and asked if we could heat them up.

N one knew how long, so someone guessed a couple of minutes. The guy took the pie out, felt the lukewarm pastry and took a big bite. I last saw him on a stretcher with horrendous scalds around and in his mouth. The contents were hotter than boiling.

Not overheard but spoken directly to me:

“Our management should provide this benefit because — I want it.”

“Why don’t you tell our management how providing this would also benefit the company? You’d have a better chance of getting it.”

Blank stare received.


I was a fire alarm technician for 41 years. Microwave popcorn is responsible for more than 80% of false alarms in office buildings.

Quite some time ago I was called in to a large company’s IT department. The technicians decided that they needed to cook in the computer room and installed a microwave, a hot plate and a large coffee urn. One of them had brought in a slice of pizza in a Sbarro’s to go box and on his lunch break stuck it in the microwave to heat it. He did not realize what the effect of the foil lined box would have. He blew up the microwave and caused the Halon 1301 fire suppression system to discharge. That would have been very expensive but turned out to be even worse. This happened after Halon and its derivatives were pulled off the market because they were eating a hole in the ozone layer.

The fire suppression system needed to be completely replace with the newer, replacement chemical. The cost was well over $100,000. We got bonuses to get the new system up and running and my boss bought a new bass boat.

I think I ran into a guy last month who had read this book. He simply would not get off my doorstep and Would. Not. Shut. Up. Non stop stream of sales blather. I am normally pretty polite, but I was reduced to shouting “SHUT UP AND GET OFF MY PROPERTY!” I then slammed the door.
My grumpy old man was released that day.