Back in college, when I would get a hankerin for a sub-sandwich I would always go to the local sub shop at the busiest time. Between all the orders, and the extra staff put on for the rush, your order would pass through 4 to six people ( bread, meat/cheese, toppings, drinks, etc.) before getting to the cashier. I would always order extra meat and cheese. The word would never get passed through the line of sandwich builders to the cashier, so the extras were “on the house”.
They’re too shy and awestruck to say anything to my face, of course, but every time I go into Starbucks I can’t help noticing that they’ve put out the notice again inviting me to join their ranks and become their leader. And I give this little half-smile to the barista chick that says, Thanks for the invite, maybe in another world I could have led your people, but this lone wolf has to follow a higher, solitary path. And I can see by the sadness in her eyes that she understands it has to be that way
I went to this one restaurant with a group of friends. We asked for separate checks, but they still tried to jack us for an 18% tip just because we brought them a lot of business.
I wrote “0” on the damn thing, and included the following: “I tithe God 10%, why should you get 18?” and signed my name.
Next time I go to Applebee’s, I am sure that I will be treated with the respect afforded a servant of Christ.
Back in the 1970s, Wendy’s had a schtick where the staff all wore buttons that read: “Hot and juicy.” My roommate back in Texas – honest, it wasn’t me! – when it came our turn in line, we stepped up to the counter and he looked at the counter girl’s button and said, “Hot and juicy, eh”? She slammed down her pencil, exclaimed, “All right, that’s enough!” and stormed off into the back. The manager emerged and said we had to leave. I have a feeling the comely lass was getting all sorts of propositions. But that was a failed “veteran move.”
Back when I used to eat at fast-food restaurants, I would go to Wendy’s and order a bun with no meat in it plus lettuce cheese and tomato. They’d usually charge me $1. Then I’d order chicken nuggets for 99 cents, so I ended up with a chicken sandwich (some assembly required) for only $1.99 rather than $3.00 like it said on the menu.
Where’s Howlin’ Wolf when I need him :smack:
OTOH, where’s TOMMY JOHNSON??? :eek:
A couple of years ago, the execs in my department took me to my favorite Thai restaurant for some accomplishment or other. The waiter came by and took each of their orders, then looked at me and raised his eyebrows slightly. I nodded my head in a brief motion, perhaps 5-10 degrees. He gave me a full nod, took our menus, and went back to the kitchen, returning 15 minutes later with the execs’ orders and a plate of chicken pad thai, mild, no vegetable for me.
Hey, the execs were impressed.
I’m so boss, that I can tell any waitstaff about my plan to defecate in their restaurant, and they can do NOTHING but meekly point me to a place it would do the least damage. BOOYAH!
This whole thread is so brilliantly stupid that my face hurts from smiling too much.
Thank you! It takes me back to the early days of Steve Martin.
I checked the menu on the website and it doesn’t appear there, at least not under that name.
In one town I lived in, I ordered the same thing at a particular pizza place every time. The staff got to know me by name and would just ask me if it was the usual (yes). Then the cashier would just put my name on the order and the cook knew what to make. 
Went to McDonalds the other day and, I’ll be damned but I didn’t even have to get out of my car in order to order, pay for, and receive my food.
Veteran move, indeed!
Wow. You are too cool. Can I stand next to you?
There’s a certain burger place where all of the waitresses greet me and seet me in in “my” chair and know exactly what I want without me having to say it.
Either I’m as cool as the Fonz, or I’m really predictable and boring.
I go to restaurants, grab a free bottle of water and by the time I’ve found a table to sit at it’s transformed into wine.
Suckers.
This one had me LOL’ing!
I ate at a local greasy spoon before work one evening- chicken gizzards, fries, and turnip greens. I realized I had not made my coffee for the evening. I asked the staff, and they made a fresh pot to fill my thermos ( 1 Qt ) for me for only $2!
You know those sample stations at Costco, where they give out a little medicine cup with some chocolate-covered pomegranate seeds or whatever?
One time, the lady gave me two.
The only “veteran move” I could think of is in a Thai restaurant, when I order basil chicken. I ask for it Thai spicy and with a fried egg on top. The latter request, though I’ve never been to Thailand, seems to indicate to the staff that I’m serious and know what I’m asking for with the former request. Otherwise, a simple request for “Thai spicy” or even “pedt-pedt” will often not drive the point home. For some reason, asking for a fried egg atop your basil chicken will.
While I am reticent to share this with others, I will sometimes call a restaurant ahead of time and tell them that I will be coming to dine with them at a specific time. When I get to the restaurant they have a table waiting for me, I don’t have to wait at the door like those other people.
Wow, Minnie Luna! And to think that I thought I was hot shit when I made an exclusive arrangement at a local Chinese restaurant that allowed me to send in my order by fax. 