What a country!
True story: I used to hang out at a pub after work decades ago. I knew all the staff by name, and they knew me too. I didn’t even have to order. I’d walk in and Chris or Jack would have my beer poured before I could even sit down.
One night I walked in and it was a brand new girl behind the bar. She looked at me and said “Hi Leaffan!” I was like, whoa, how does she know me?
And then I realized I still had my ID badge from work hanging around my neck. :smack:
Hey, I know this one place where I’m so popular, they’ll let me have ALL I CAN EAT! Plus, they let me take as many Sweet and Lows as I want.
Top that!
A local pizza place started offering pesto as an alternative sauce a few years back. We go to the counter to order and the clerk asks “Would you like the regular tomato sauce or pesto?”
I consider for a moment, then lock my eyes to hers and say, “Combine them.”
She opens her mouth to reply but makes no sound. A single tear runs down her cheek and I can tell that her mind is racing and exploding with possibilities she never knew existed.
After that we never saw her again.
One time, i went into a restaurant and ordered some parsley.
They graciously gave me a plate of parsley and garnished it with a big steak and a baked potato!
At about half of the restaurants I visit, they let me make my own salad.
The other day I ordered a six-inch turkey on Monterey cheddar. What kind of cheese, he asks. Cheddar, I say. Toasted? Says he. No, says I.
As he’s arranging the grey folds of birdmeat and isosceles cheese-triangles I reconsider and say “actually, I would like that toasted, please.” Guy shoots eye-daggers at me like I was Albert A. Gore unconceding the election. Gosh, bro, if I’d known it was gonna ruin your day, I’d just eat the damn thing cold…
and they probably didn’t spit in your soup either. Probably.
At red lobster we ask for an extra side of the Caesar dressing That stuff is really good with the biscuits. Similarly, at Olive Garden we get extra sides of the Italian to go with the breadsticks.
You should submit both of these to Dos Equis for inclusion in their next “Most Interesting Man in the World” ad.
I’ve always known Dopers were extraordinary people, but this thread has offered so much further proof! Makes me want to reach for the STARS!
My local MacDonalds has learned to give me a Happy Meal even when I am technically only surly as fuck.
I guess I read this wrong at first, which reminded me of a story.
Years ago we used to get food delivered from a service. One place that we liked had a sort of confusing menu. They had various types of chicken sandwiches with various toppings. One was plain, others has stuff on them. I ordered the one with BBQ sauce, Monterey jack, and jalapenos. The operator asked me if I wanted anything on it. I said no, nothing.
I got a plain chicken sandwich. I guess I should have ordered the one with BBQ sauce, Monterey jack, and jalapenos, with BBQ sauce, Monterey jack, and jalapenos.
So much for my “Veteran Moves.”
Today, I went to Arby’s and asked for a Turkey & Cheddar…but on a regular bun instead of an onion roll.
(I then asked for it again, after being given one on an onion roll. Does that count as a second Veteran Move?)
But they want to make you happy, not surly as fuck.
I once wanted an order of plain toast, so I asked for a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast, no mayonnaise, no butter, and no lettuce. Then I told the waitress to hold the chicken, bring me the toast, and give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich. She asked me if I wanted her to hold the chicken. I want you to hold it between your knees, I says.
Veteran move, that.
mmm
This thread is so cool, I had to put on a parka and down booties while reading it.
Shoulda asked for four fried chickens and a Coke.
I’m guessing plenty here are too young to know about that.
Yesterday in (college) music class, none of the students had heard of Linda Ronstadt.
Too late, post 56.