In your pouch, you will have a magic pool of bullets. These bullets will automatically jump into an empty clip, ready to go if needed. If you remove a clip that still has some bullets in it, these bullets will magically teleport back to the pool in your pouch. Thusly, you never have to put individual bullets into a clip to fill it up.
You have armor. After your armor takes, say, twenty bullets, it will magically disappear, never to be seen again.
You can survive hits from several dozen bullets, unarmored, whilst your enemies can only withstand three or four shots, at best.
Back in fantasy times, individuals whom we would now consider poachers were called adventurers and greatly respected for their ability to wipe out species to extinction. This genocide was quite lucrative and inevitably triggered the evolution of stronger, smarter creatures as time passed.
Most poachers I mean Adventurers usually started their career by spending literally years slaying weak hapless creatures outside of their home kingdom until they were strong enough to take on anything more formidable.
Castles were superbly symmetrical in design and always had the throne located from a straight shot from the main entrance. The king of the locale was always willing to talk to any strange person that barged in and stormed the throne room.
Your weapon has the magical power to turn your enemies, no matter whether they’re a soldier or an animal, into either a single weapon - often a weapon the enemy/animal wasn’t using - a pile of gold, or a piece of pre-cooked meat.
You’re trapped in a victorian mansion designed by a crazed puzzle/Gormenghast fanatic. You must unlock every room in the house to uncover the Deep Dark Secret. While traveling from room to room you must kill all the Horrid Things you encounter. Someone has conveniently left behind lots of weapons and ammo for you to use on the Horrid Things.
Things you’ll never see:
Chrono and Link having an indepth conversation
You will attack one and only one member of the hostile party while they stand still. One member of the hostile party will attack one member of your party who happens to be standing still. A member of your party will attack a single member of the hostile party, who will in turn attack one member of your party. Someone will move a certain distance and then stand still. Someone will cast a spell that takes a really long time. Once the other party has been conquered, you will find that they had a potion that comes in a vial similar to and is the same color as the other health potions you currently have so you put it in with the rest of your potions because you assume its a health potion. And it is.
The Jewel Of Life must remain in the temple, or all life on Earth will perish. However, the villain has broken into the temple to steal the jewel to give himself infinite wealth, immortality, and/or the energy source for the ultimate weapon (even though the jewel’s absence alone will drain all life from the planet). You thwart the villain’s plan at the temple, before your quest even begins, but in doing so you shattered the jewel into seven smaller pieces – each looking perfectly carved and each a different color. They are scattered across the planet somehow.
You must now find all the pieces before the villain does. However, the villain decides to send his henchmen/robots/nephews to find the jewel shards in the exact same order that you do. Fortunately, they also find the pieces at the exact same time that you do, so you can defeat them one by one.
When you are about to gather the last piece, you find that the villain has gotten there first, in person. You defeat him with much greater difficulty than before, but only until you find that he attacks in patterns and always leaves part of the room alone where you can stand erect in plain view and still his attacks will not touch you.
Once he has been defeated and you are about to recover the last shard, the villain reveals that he has kidnapped either your princess or your true love (possibly both), and you must hand over your shards to save her. You do, and the Jewel, reassembled, instantly transforms the villain into a Super Demon Villain, who you must fight.
However, the Super Villain can only be defeated by dodging his blasts until he accidentally destroys the ground beneath his feet.
When this is over, you recover the restored Jewel, but in the room beyond there is a little guy in a spotted hat who informs you that your princess is in another castle.
You must fight your way though scores, if not hundreds, of ambushes and death traps, none of which could have been anticipated by any fighter no matter how intelligent or experienced. There will always be one and only one strategy of moving and fighting that will allow you to survive, which no one could ever work out in the 2 1/2 seconds you have before perishing. Fortunately, you have the power to access the memories of the 12,877 alternate-timeline versions of yourself who were killed by these traps, and so can reach the final monster’s lair against million-to-one odds.
Ah, it’s nice to see this thread resurrected. When I first started reading it (again), I thought of the exact same response I gave the first time, forgetting that I had already done it…
Almost immediately after you join the army (or similar service for the kingdom/empire/whatever), you will become a hunted fugitive (possibly for no reason whatsoever), get recruited by the rebels (or reasaonable facsimile), fall in love with the rebel leader (or his sister, if he’s male) who dies, and then become leader of the rebels, even though five minutes before the rebel leader’s death, you were the newest recruit.
You can carry hundreds of thousands of gold coins in your pockets. Five suits of armor and a dozen weapons fit handily into your backpack. Cannon fodder carry around significant treasures (I guess every common grunt draws payroll just before you arrive). In the middle of battle you can flip through your spell book or rummage for some healing potions out of your pack or switch armor and/or weapons; go ahead, that troll will wait while you better prepare yourself for the fight.