Violets Are Weeds (Your spring gardening rant here)

This one’s for you, Viola spp. or wild violet. I don’t know who the fuck came up with the idea that violets were “shy” or “shrinking”, but they had no clue what they were talking about. I turn my back on the garden for five minutes and boom, here come those sneaky little rhizomes again flaunting their heart-shaped leaves.

I don’t care how pretty your little purple flowers are or how many poets have fawned over you. Go nod and blush and show off your goddamned sweet reclusiveness in the woodlands and meadows, and stay the fuck out of my lettuces.

Watch how you fling around that “spp.” All the “spp” of *Viola *but one are absolute essentials in any serious garden. Weed out your natives, but don’t besmirch the reputations of all the other spp.

Uh, no they’re not. I can think of several species of Viola that you won’t find in any BUT native gardens, if even there.

A weed is simply something that’s growing where you don’t want it to grow. If you have prize-winning calla lilies growing where you don’t want them, they are weeds. If, like me, you like the dandelions in your lawn, they are not weeds.

But what ***are ***weeds are the fucking morning glories that the neighbor kid planted about 15 years ago. The vines have now spread through half of my yard, a little further every year, choking everything they can wind around. And they don’t even bloom.

I may be wrong, but I don’t think the morning glories that are baning your existence have anything to do with the ones your neighbor planted 15 years ago. The seeds you buy as flowering vines are, AFAIK, a tropical species that doesn’t overwinter in Ohio. The NA native plant that some people call morning glory, and some people call bindweed, is a different animal.

You know the best way to get rid of them?

Move.

Bravo! I fucking hate fucking violets.

…bu buh but they’re so cuuuuuute!

I got sucked in that way. The first spring after I moved into my current house I had the occasional clump of violets. Great, I thought, free landscaping.

The next year they had taken over everything. They are a scourge.

I was just eying a clump of violets in the iris thinking I need to pull them up. They’re already a clump about 8 inches diameter. I saw a few in the twiggy base of a spirea too. I do have a couple pots of violets from last year that do not go any where near my garden. I keep them isolated in a corner of the yard. They’re Yellow Wood Violets and need to go in a little isolated area with Jack In The Pulpit. I have a few wet shaded woodland plants I’d like to get planted again. I had the stuff potted up before the flood last year and never replanted the stuff.

Not in a vegetable garden, they’re not. Yeah yeah, technically violets are supposed to be edible, but that does not entitle them to any of the precious garden space that I’m reserving for lettuce and peas and beans and edamame and cucumber and tomatoes and potatoes and other actual foodstuffs, much less all of the garden space, which seems to be the least they’re willing to settle for. Fucking insatiable purple menace.

I don’t care much about violets in the lawn. They are wretched little invasive scourges in my borders, though.

Bwa-ha-ha! Morning glory seeds (and seeds of quite a few other “tropical” species) overwinter handily in temperature climates with subzero winters. As an example, I offer you the following morning glory, Kniola’s Purple-Black (available from Hudson Seeds among others):

“Stunning deep velvety purple-black 2 inch wide flowers, with a rosy throat and a white eye. Unique. Absolutely the deepest, darkest morning glory we have ever seen, they actually appear black when they first open in the morning light. Discovered by Mr. Kniola on an abandoned Indiana farm.”

I bet I know why that farm was abandoned - no doubt overrun by this particular morning glory, which seeds around as if on a mission to take over the world.

Actually, stuff that spreads into the lawn isn’t so great either. You have to watch out for ajugalawn (the end result of planting ajuga on the edge of lawns, which it devilishly infiltrates), and now I’m starting to get Lysimachialawn, with patches of yellow-green foliage showing up several feet from where I first planted them. Eventually I will have a lawn entirely composed of ajuga, Lysimachia, wild violets, henbit and dandelions, with maybe a few sprigs of crabgrass to remind me of what once was.

I thought I was the only one.

I must have better luck with crabgrass than Jackmannii. Our yard fills with creeping charlie the neighbor has in his yard. I actually started spraying for it last year and I’m about to again. What survived the 3 feet of water on it last year? Crabgrass seed that sprouted after the flood, with Creeping Charlie and Nutsedge that didn’t die.

Once you get a good crop of morning glories you won’t have to seed that area again if you want morning glories. I had a variety with a form that made it so most flowers didn’t produce seed because of lack of pollination. I found maybe twenty seeds when trying to save seed. I still found a few volunteers next spring.

Contact your local bakery/sweet shop and offer to supply all of their candied violet needs.

My soil is so poor that I have trouble growing dandelions and crabgrass. My flowerbed soil is so poor that I can’t even grow MINT in it, and that’s supposed to be pretty much unkillable!

The drought here has certainly knocked my mint for a sixer…however, come the (hopefully, eventual, maybe, please OG) rains…it should pop up again.

With a bit of luck.

Apart from that, the ‘weeds’ we have on the farm are not the sweet little dainty things found in suburban backyards. Scotch thistles, Bathurst burrs and the everloving caltrop make our rural life a misery. And of course, the drought hasn’t sapped their lifeforce one iota.

It looks like your yard is a good candidate for sand burrs.

Does Spinifex rip up a person like I’ve heard?

Sorry, can’t get on the Violet rant. I’ve been nurturing
http://wisplants.uwsp.edu/scripts/detail.asp?SpCode=VIOPED1 little beauty for the past few years in my lawn. Dainty, native, and I only WISH it was more aggressive!

Now, Sand Burs, (Cenchrus longispinus) on the other hand… flamethrowers are too kind.

Bad link. I have no idea what you have been nurturing.

I had this huge mint patch that threatened to overtake my back yard. (Yay! Mojitos for all!)

Then we hung a bird feeder right over the mint patch. So it turns out that birds are very sloppy eaters, and a lot of the seed fell into the mint patch. Pouf, no more mint patch.

It was replaced by either dirt, or things birds eat before they can sprout. (The things I mean, not the birds.)

I am now being overrun by grape hyacinth and vinca.