Visiting nursing homes

[Politzania]

My first experience with nursing homes was working in the laundry facilities part-time in high school; my mom was in the housekeeping department & they worked very, very hard to dispel that “nursing home smell”. She also interacted with the residents, and helped out with the various “parties” that the Activity director set up.
I remember being uncomfortable at first - but found a few people I could connect with.

Fast forward to about 10 years ago - a local hospice was looking for volunteers, so I signed up for their training. My first few “clients” were in-home, and while it was a valuable experience, it was a little uncomfortable at times - when I was assigned to a patient in a nursing home, I found that worked better for my personality.

I have since moved - and found a new volunteer opportunity at a local retirement community that offers various levels of care - cottages, apartments with shared dining & cleaning services, and then the more traditional nursing home care. The residents (at least the the higher-functioning ones) have quite a bit of input into the overall management - the Rights and Responsibilities are visibly posted in several places around the building and regular meetings are held. I volunteer in the Health Center/ Memory Care area, which is the highest level of care offered.

I stop in about twice a week and visit with about a half-dozen residents who either don’t have family in the area or need additional interaction, for whatever reason. A couple of them are pretty sharp and I can have a really good conversation (even if we cover the same topics each time) - while others just need a smiling face and a hand to hold for awhile. I also bring my dog ( a 25-lb lhasa apso) around to visit about once a month – and the residents just adore him!

I won’t deny that it can be hard - there are sights and smells that I’d rather not experience - and communication can be difficult - I’ve adopted several non-commital phrases I can use to sound like I understand what they’re saying, and as long as I seem interested, they seem happy.

Perhaps I have it easier than family members, since I didn’t know these people when they were younger and healthier; I try to take each person as they are and make his or her day a bit brighter. I don’t argue when they say they’re ready to go home, or ask me where someone is – again, being noncommital and redirecting seem to work well: “How about you have a little snack before you go? We’ll be having lunch here soon, and it’s already paid for” “Well, I don’t know Bill - why don’t you tell me a bit about him and we can go look for him in a bit”.

This is my way of paying it forward, I guess – gaining experience for if/when I have to deal with this situation in my own family.

[Ca3799]

I, too, am a nurse (OB-GYN). My experience with nursing homes was when my dad lived and eventually died (Parkinson’s disease) in one.

The facility my dad was in was not one considered to be a ‘better’ facility, but my experience says that if the choice is ‘better’ or ‘closer,’ choose the ‘closer’ one so you can visit frequently. So my first advice is to choose a facility that is close to the family.

Many nursing homes are quite nice these days with home-like furnishings, hair salons, interesting activities, day trips, etc.

I would recommend building on this with kid-friendly activities such as a play ground and even some small bribes like a juice box or snack for the younger sets. Smaller children could then look forward to visiting a play ground, the child’s parent would be able to relax about the child’s potential behavior, and the elderly family member and other residents could enjoy watching the children play. This could also normalize the visit and replace the ‘scary’ feeling of visiting with a ‘fun’ feeling. Other fun and interesting things could be the addition of live pets (dogs or cats, fish or birds), or maybe something like a small movie theater such as those seen in many apartment complexes so family could come to ‘movie night.’

[rg021]

I feel a bit late to the conversation; but, I just want to thank the original poster to this thread. Reading all of the replies has given me a lot to think about.
Just yesterday, I started to look into CNA training programs with the idea of volunteering at a home or in a hospital. This thread has pushed it from a notion to something I definitely want to do. Thank you.