The reason for the demand for optic fornication is this:
Back before Christmas my SO ordered some Xmas cards from Vistaprint online. They came to a grand total of $14.95. Money paid, cards received, everybody happy. Then, a few weeks later two charges shows up on the bank statement for $14.95 each. " WTF?", we cry. SO gets angry. Believe me, you don’t want to make my girl angry. She calls them, rips some new ass, tears out a throat or two and rearranges thoracic contents. She demands that they refund these two charges and cancel her “membership.” A membership, mind you, that she had no idea she signed up for by buying stupid xmas cards. Well, they agree, (wouldn’t you after all of that carnage?) and refund the money as well as cancelling her “membership.”
Fast forward to this morning. We are discussing our budget for the month of July and I ask her what this “Shopping Essence” charge is for in June. She looks at me like there’s a wombat eating my head. “Shopping who?” she asks. “Yep” says I.
“$14.95 is how much they charged you”
We get online and scour our accounts. Jumpin’ Jeezuz! They’ve been charging us $14.95 monthly for 6 months! Now I’m sure this part is purely coincidental :rolleyes: as the charges began a week after we cancelled and received the refund from frickin’ VistaPrint.
So, little bored at work today Chao decides to do some research online. Holy shit these people have built an empire out of ripping people off. They are part of this huge buying group that pulls this shit on their customers and shares the account info with all of their subsidiaries. I found tons of complaints online from people who’ve been ripped off just like us and the Better Business Bureau report is pages long.
So I called our bank’s fraud department and filed a dispute against the charges. Kind Bank Lady says we can only dispute as recently as 3 months ago. “Not acceptable” I reply. “I want all 6 charges disputed since these charges were made fraudulently” I went on to explain how I was sitting in front of a stack of papers I printed off about the fraudulent practices of this company. She acquiesced and said she would file disputes against all of the charges.
I then hang up with Kind Bank Lady and start a file. I’m kickin’ ass and takin’ names.
Now it’s time to call Shopping Fucking Essentials. I call the number that’s on the bank statement next to their bullshit charges. A man answers, a man who clearly is benefiting from a common practice called “outsourcing.” He cheerfully says “Thank you for calling Vistapr…I mean Shopping Essentials how can I help you?”
Ha fucker. I tell him he just confirmed my suspicion that the two companies were pretty much one in the same. He didn’t deny it but he stammered something about a buying group, blah blah. I tell him he can help me by refunding the FRAUDULENT and ILLEGAL charges made against our account. Funny, he never denied any wrongdoing, he never asked what had happened, never asked me to explain any transactions or membership with the company. He just said, “Ok, we’ll refund this months charge.”
Interlude:
At this point, we experienced technical difficulties because my face exploded, missiles were launched, flesh was torn, blood was spilled, earthquakes split the lands and volcanoes reduced everything to a molten goo.
Resume play:
I calmly, yet sternly, in a voice that would’ve shaken Hannibal Lechter, told him that no, he was not going to refund only one of the ILLEGAL charges, but ALL OF THEM, since I had not received any goods or services to justify the ILLEGAL charges. And I went on about how I knew about their practices, and mentioned the Attorney General of Connecticut (where they appear to be based out of).
The shrivled little miscreant then tells me he needs to “check with his supervisor.”
I tell him to go ahead and do that in my best Dirty Harry voice.
After 5 long minutes of brain numbing hold music, the little simpleton comes back. “I’ve got good news!” he squeals. “We can refund ALL of your money”
“Good” I say flatly. “When will I see this money?”
“Three business days” he replies like a true confidence man.
I get his name, I get his employee ID # which is mostly likely as fake as Joan River’s face then I snarl and hang up.
So, tonight, the SO and I are off to the bank to get a new card and we wait and see if we get our $89.70 back from either the fucking dickless wonders that ripped us off or from our bank which is obligated to help us deal with such fraud.
Hey, I know it’s only $89.70, it could’ve been worse, but it’s the principle.
Letters are being written, complaints are being filed, skullfucking will ensue.
Goddammit I’m pissed. :mad:
