This isn’t meant to disparage anyone and I don’t mean to be insensitive. I’m looking for a factual answer, if there is one.
I’ve known a number of openly, and in some cases, flamboyantly gay men, but haven’t known any of them well enough to ask them this question. Many of them shared a certain tonal quality to their voice, which is a sort of nasally quality. I’d almost go so far as to call it grating. In fact, sometimes all you would have to do is hear the guy talking- despite what he was actually saying- to recognize what has become sort of a stereotypical vocal quality for a gay man.
I might not be describing it very well, but the most recent example I’ve noticed is in the current season of The Amazing Race. One of the teams is made up of a guy and a girl, something like Kynt and Vyxin; Kynt is a self-described goth queer and he has this vocal quality.
So- my question is, what is it with this voice? I’ve never heard a straight guy (as far as I know) speak with this kind of voice, it’s only some gay men. Is it a purposeful affectation- and if so, why?
It would almost certainly be, and I’ve always supposed the reason is to identify as openly gay. Not that every openly gay man chooses to speak that way, but as with almost any affectation it’s done to portray an image through a stylistic expression.
So would this person have a “normal” voice and then his “stylistic expression”?
ETA: OneCentStamp’s link may answer my question, but my work firewall is preventing me from viewing it. Let me know if it does. Thanks.
Add me to the “style” column. I lived in Boystown for about 6 years, and I’ve heard plenty of the high-pitched, lilting, nasal voice. OTOH, I’ve heard lots of “normal” voices as well. And I don’t think I’ve ever heard a “bear” speak with that intonation.
My guess (and YMMV) is that it’s conflated with the snarky/critical aspect of the culture.
I would add to the general discussion that everyone’s manner of speech is, to some extent, an affectation. Most adults don’t speak the same way they spoke as children; at some time in adolescence one aligns oneself with a cultural image and modifies one’s speech to fit. I remember learning to speak like a smart, laid-back, unpretentious fellow when I was about thirteen or so – in a way I think it helped me become that person.
How about Truman Capote? I think it was an affectation, just as the way he dressed was, possibly just to shock people. Bu who knows, with him? He certainly was one of a kind, as well as a wonderful writer.
Or… straight men who would naturally speak this way feel it isn’t “manly” and change their own voice quality. I think this accounts for a least some of the “feminine” gay stereotypes. Straight men have a reason to avoid acting that way, but gay men don’t, or at least they don’t have quite as much reason.
A related joke:
Actually, I recall an episode of the Rosie O’Donnell Show (please don’t ask me why I was watching this) where Rosie was blindfolded and had to guess the “mystery guest” by the sound of his voice. The guest was Richard Simmons, but he spoke in a deep manly voice just to screw with her. It was pretty funny.
I was once visiting an Amish community and one of the little boys was, well, so obviously gay. He couldn’t have been more than nine, but my traveling companions (including two gay guys, both with ‘regular’ deep guy voices) all agreed the boy was a 'mo. And he had ‘the voice.’ The sing song and the slight lisp. Even the adults sort of treated him gently and smiled nervously at us when he skipped over. I’ve also noticed ‘the voice’ in gay guys from every culture and country, even before they relocated and became part of the gay ‘community.’ But again, not in all gay guys.
This is my answer too. Why do some straight guys talk the way they do? That deep, raspy, course voice that I call the “Spike TV/NASCAR/Tractor Pulling” voice. No one will convince me that that voice evolves naturally with no cultural influence.
That would seem to indicate it’s not purposefully done (in his case) in order to identify himself as part of the gay culture, which I gather is generally underrepresented in the Amish community; rather it’s something inherent in his apparent homosexuality.
I’ve noticed some straight guys who don’t care if anyone thinks they are gay who pick up some of the “gay” mannerisms. So yes, I think some of it is simply conditioning. If you’re worried someone might think you’re gay if you do X, you’re less likely to do X even if you want to. If you don’t care, you’ll go ahead and do X.
In a similar way, I’ll often hide how much I don’t care about children just to avoid conversations about it.
I think this would count as begging the question. Your only evidence that the boy was gay was his “gay” mannerisms; while you may be right that he was gay, you can’t use this as evidence that “gay” mannerisms are correlated with gayness in Amish culture.
