I hate these damned ads about the drug for lowering Cholesterol.
“Your high cholesterol isnm’t only due to that Steak, it’s also due to Uncle Beef. Part of cholesterol is due to diet, and part to your family background.” And they show some cute graphic that makes Uncle Ginger look like the Gingerbread Man, or makes Aunt Cherry (with her red bobbing earrings) look like a Banana Split with cherries on top.
I want to see these commercials carried to the logical conclusion:
[Arnold Schwartzenegger voice-over] Vytorin will not only lower cholesterol from the foods you eat, it will also take care of your high-cholesterol relatives. Vytorin will not only relieve current cholesterol problems, it will actually send armed cyborgs into the past to hunt down and destroy your high-cholesterol ancestors.
High Cholesterol isn’t only due to Cheese (graphic of wedge of cheese being caught in Terminator-like crosshairs, then exploding), it’s due to your Uncle Roquefort (Same crosshairs on Uncle Roq, who also blows up). It’s not only due to Pork (Boom!), but to your Uncle Piggily (Pig-like Uncle caught in crosshairs attempts to flee. We get a Terminator’s Eye view of false clolor imagery chasing Uncle Piggily uop stair and over rooftops, where he’s blown up.“Hasta la Vista, Baby!”) You get Cholesterol not only from Pizza (Pow!), but from your Uncle Pete (Terminator’s POV of chasing Uncle Pete through parking garage, down the street, up a ladder, to a rooftop where he collapses. Voice: “You’re Terminated, fatso!”)
Vytorin. May cause retro-non-existence in some users. Check with your local Time League. A Division of SkyNet Industries. [/Arnold Schwartzenegger]