I hate this commercial! What would you do if some dipshit tapped you on the arm and announced to you that “I’ve lowered my cholesterol”!
I think I’d hauloff and punch the idiot.
Grrr! :dubious:
Unofficially, I’d encourage him to try Wendy’s new Garden Salads. They’re made fresh throughout the day. Or maybe a Homestyle Chicken Filet, made with whole chicken breast, and topped with a tangy sauce.
Unofficially, of course.
While I agree that commercial is annoying, it’s not that far a stretch from real life. People (myself included) frequently go bubbling about with good news, and sharing it inappropriately. Maybe inappropriately is too strong a word, how about “too freely” instead.
Clerk: That’ll be $4.22.
People: <hands over 5> I got engaged today!
Bewildered clerk: That’s nice.
Far, far better than “hot enough for ya?” at least as far as I’m concerned.
I’d tell him that relief to his sinus pressure and congestion was on Aisle 5!
My boyfriend and his friends actually did this on a pretty regular basis last summer, just to see how people would react. Toll booth operators, fast food workers, and random strangers were accosted with my beloved’s rather odd sense of humor. For the most part, people just kinda rolled their eyes, a few smiled, but no punches yet - thank goodness.
I guess that’s today’s equivalent of asking other motorists, “Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?”
hands you a paper towel You clean up my monitor and keyboard, because that comment just made me spray Dr Pepper all over the place.
I’d tell him I lowered my insurance at Geico.
Aww, that’s the first time another Doper has said that to me. I’ll treasure it always. 
I’d force him to eat 5 Egg McMuffins at gunpoint.
I’d tell him I’ve improved the quality of my erections with Levitra.
I thought this was going to be a thread about the sub-Dr. Seuss ramblings of that new cholesterol-lowering drug ad. Patrick Stewart, how low can you sink?
I’d congratulate him, and ask him if he knew of a product that would relieve my itching, burning hemmoroids.
I’d ask him if he could hear me now.
I’d burst into tears and cry out “But my Mother just died from high cholesterol!”, drop to my knees, grab him about the waist and sob “Why couldn’t you have told me this before? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?”
Alternately, you could tell him about your four-hour long erection, thanks to Cialis.
Or just sit and smile at him, because you are Enzyte Bob.
You think his wife tells everyone about his constipation problems?
Don’t get me started about my favorite phrase in the history of language: “All-Natural Male Enhancement.” 
I’d tell him about Subway’s new wrap, with only 9 grams of net carbs. And suggest that he wash it down with a low-carb Miller Lite.
Better than going around screaming “AFLAC AFLAC!!!”