SANTA ANA, Calif. (AP) – Four women sued an Irvine restaurant after one of them said she found a condom in her clam chowder when they dined there. Laila Sultan said she was eating at McCormick & Schmick’s Seafood Restaurant, when she bit into something rubbery. “We said, `Of course. You’re chewing on a clam,’” said Paula Wild, one of her dining companions. When she spit it out, Sultan, 48, said she discovered it was an unwrapped, rolled-up condom. A lawyer for the restaurant said McCormick & Schmick’s has no idea how the condom got into the soup. “It’s as big a mystery to us as it is to anybody else,” said attorney Patrick Stark. “There is absolutely no evidence to suggest the restaurant was the source of the condom, or any employee of the restaurant.”
“Shhhh, madam, please, or everyone will want one.”
“Yes, I’ll have what she’s having.”
She faced the ordeal with Trojan stoicism.
Of course, it was a very sheik restaurant.
It clearly wasn’t a clam chowder. Probably a muscle. A loooove muscle.
Nah, that’ calamari…
Nah, that’s calamari…
And now she’s getting ribbed - for our pleasure.
A condom in the soup? That beats the bolt salad I had a few months ago at a family-style steak place with a salad bar.
One of the chunks in the blue cheese dressing was a bolt. :eek: Did me absolutely no harm as I didn’t have the misfortune of biting into it - it was just this unexpected hard item in my mouth that clearly wasn’t lettuce. My table ate for free that night, and we had personal attention from the manager throughout our meal. 
It’ll probably come out that it wasn’t a condom, but instead a finger cot… which are basically like little condoms people roll on their fingers when doing repetitive abrasive work with their fingers (like, say, shelling clams).
Same deal with the woman finding a “condom” in her fortune cookie a few years ago (workers wore finger cots to minimize paper cuts).
I’ll second that idea. . . I’ve seen 'em before in screenprinting factories where people handle glassware all day–you get a better grip with what my Pop calls “condoms for midgets”.
It’s a distinct possibility.
Tripler
My apologies to any midgets out there. You’re probably more well hung than I.
I’m sure that put a cramp in her lifestyle…
Poor clam…it didn’t even have time to finish before the end came to claim it…
What??
Yes, people need protection from this sort of bushwhack!
The finger cot seems more reasonable… there’s no way a full-sized condom could make it from bowl to mouth in a spoon, even a soup spoon, without being noticed.
Unless, of course, it was planted by the customer herself.
Finger cots also tend to roll back up even after being used, unlike condoms.
A lady while dining at Crewe
Found a [fill in the blank] in her stew.
Said the waiter, “Don’t shout,
And don’t wave it about,
Or the others will all want one too.”
“I said CLAM chowder, not MAN chowder!”
I knew we Dopers would rise to the occaision. 